**slow blink**

My initial thought was, “Seriously, what are they going to talk about exactly? It’s Beyonce.” (Stans, excuse my inner hater, but see this post I wrote last year.) Perhaps, she can be mentioned in the company of these iconic women though. I mean, she did say, “I can do for you what Martin did for the people.” Give us free then, Bey!

I kid, I kid.

The story reports that Rutgers lecturer Kevin Allred’s course will not be a bird course on Bey, but a way to help students think more deeply. He says,  ”It’s important to shift students away from simply being consumers of media toward thinking more critically about what they’re engaging on a regular basis.” He added, “When students don’t respond to theory or dense readings, it’s often easier to see things play out in the world around them.”

Great point there. In two of my favorite undergraduate classes, Ancient Egyptian History and Religion and Hip Hop, my instructors used real examples like Tupac and Biggie to illustrate some points, even giving us projects that centered around hip hop instrumental tracks. We loved it! They didn’t make the entire course about those figures though because there were bigger fish to fry on the syllabus.

More and more, the Bedazzled One is becoming synonymous with girl power and feminism, rather than iceskater outfits and nude dancer’s tights. Maybe she is changing the world.

What made me rethink my position? A few months ago, I read an article on imagining her song titles as women and gender theses for undergraduates. Here are a few:

Cater 2 U: Female Subservience and the Reinforcement of Hegemonic Gendered Power Structures

Baby Boy: The Sociocultural Effects of Prolonged Male Adolescence

Run the World (Girls): Historical Perspectives on Global Female Leadership

Clearly, they were reaching with some of these, but if the thesis reads well and provides new evidence or theories, who says it’s not valid? However, I’m not sure that a course is necessary, and here are my personal reasons why:

I’m a practical student, not an academic. It only took one semester of studying public relations in graduate school to figure that one out. I broke out into a silent “Kum Baya” every time my quantitative statistics class met, but never wanted to leave my public relations writing class. Considering that, I’d probably be more interested in learning the routine to “Single Ladies” than discussing the socioeconomic effects on single women versus married. I’m straight on all that.

I grew up with Beyonce. Well, not really, but we’re the same age. When I was 22, she was singing about what I was going through as a 22-year-old. Agewise, she is a peer, not some perfect, can-do-wrong being that I look up, unlike some of her diehard stans (whom I assume would enroll in the class. Maybe I’m wrong.) Therefore, she’s simply not that serious to me now. Would I have taken the course in undergrad? Absolutely! I’d figure out a way to fit that “Singles Ladies” routine in there somehow.

The course would piss on my parade. I often half-jokingly say that I’m just “not that deep.” I’m an over-analyzer at best, and yes, I LOVE to think and discuss and throw out my theories on subjects, but Beyonce just ain’t one of ‘em. When I hear Bey, I want to shake what my mama gave me, cry a few tears over a breakup or go shopping for a tight freakum dress. I do NOT want to think about gender roles and feminism as I’m blasting “Get Me Bodied” in my iPod. I’d prefer to keep it just as light as she has all this time, and a course on her wouldn’t allow that. Again, I’m straight.

So, call me a cynic or whatever. I’ve spent goo-gobs of money on her concerts, and I have all her albums. I appreciate the woman. Her business sense is unmatched, she’s managed to keep her personal life under wraps and her hair can blow in the wind like no one else’s, BUT, I’d much rather sing along with her than study her.

Nah who mad?

Weekly, I, along with millions, joined in on the Twitter discussion. It went something like this: Where do they find these women?  I mean, us college-educated, employed, “independent” women, we don’t know women like these, right? Wrong. We do. We might one of them. These designer label-wearing glamazons might have gone the extra mile by throwing a blow or some expletives around, but you know someone who’s stayed in a relationship that should’ve ended eons ago. You know someone who has issues in her professional life. You know someone who has “Mama and Daddy issues.” So as much as we’d like to throw the entire cast and producers under the bus, we could learn some universal lessons from these chicks. Feel free to add to the list.

Never mix business with pleasure. Ahem Yandy. Unless you’re in business with your SPOUSE serving up ribs and over the top affection like the Neely’s, feelings and money don’t mix. A friend recently told me that feelings are defined as “an unreasoned opinion or belief,” so many of our emotions can be based on pixie dust, which results making irrational and hasty decisions. You could be left with no money nor honey, all of which is a very bad thing. Sometimes it’s better to use your mind than your heart.

A man will always go to bat for his woman over his homegirl. That is, unless he realized the woman is schizo and needs a way out. Otherwise, no matter how well you “hold him down,” make a way for him to provide for himself and family or be that shoulder to cry on behind closed doors, remember, he sleeps with his woman (even if he sleeps with you, too). She may be crazy, but in some way, she takes care of him and even better, he likes it and loves her. Sorry, honey, but you’ll have to the “L.” It is what it is.

Maturity does have a number. At no point in your 40s (or 30s and shoot, 20s) should you be scrapping like a 7th grader in middle school. It’s just not…sexy. If you  stand on being a real woman, jumping on another woman should be the last option in settling any disagreement. In the end, you look stupid, your makeup is smeared and you probably lost a track or two and one of those earrings you love so much. And we all know having only one earring in a pair is earth shattering. ALWAYS act like a lady.

There’s a fine line between holding on to dreams and being stupid. How many of us have dreams we’d like to fufil, but we know realistically that we have to start from scratch? *raises hand* Yeah, I’d love to quit my job and write full-time, but um, I got bills. I’m a proponent of “stepping out on faith” and not settling, yet, I have to make ends meet, so I pound the pavement Monday through Friday. Also, if an opportunity presents itself, why not show you can rise to the top standing on small beginnings? It beats standing on nothing at all, and the story is much sweeter in the end.

A sense of entitlement will have you looking crazy, but hard work will pay off. “Hey, look at me. You have to sign me to a bomb-ass deal because I sang hooks and put out one song back in 2002. I deserve this!” Sound familiar? Yeah, we can swindle our way out of blessings we think we deserve so much based on old stuff. While you’re complaining and producing mediocre results, that chick up the street is hungry for YOUR (old) spot and is putting in work to get it. (Reference: See Olivia vs. Somaya)

Your issues will deal with you if you don’t deal with them first. 

Everyone’s got atleast one. Some run deeper than others, but if abandonment, self-image and neglect issues haven’t been addressed as early as possible, you could be headed down a dark road. Who knew that seeing mama and daddy fight as a kid could affect your choices in men and how you begin/grow a family? Yes, there is a point where we must take personal responsibility for how we live our lives. Stop blaming others for our mess-ups. However, in doing that, it’s impossible not to figure out why you do what you do. In other words, get some counseling. No judgement here.

Peace of mind is better than lifestyle.

How many women have stayed in relationship to their detriment for fear that if they leave, they’ll be  scrubs (again)? I’m sure zillions, from lily-white multi-millionaires to rap stars and your run-of-the-mill dopeboy around the corner. Comfort does that to you. That job you have is killing you softly and affecting your family life and relationships, yet you stay because of the pay and benefits. Your car note is breaking you,  but driving a Benz feels so…exotic. Same thing with relationships. You can wrap yourself in minks and jewels for the onlookers, but you’re tore up in face from crying. At some point, a clear mind and light heart must win the game. If not, at least you can suffer and look good while you’re doing it. Make a choice.

Be careful who you talk to and who you call “friend.”

Newsflash: Everybody isn’t your friend, and they aren’t concerned about your story as much as they are in simply hearing it. So what, both of ya’ll were latch-key kids and ate cornbread and cold Pop Tarts every day? Just because two people share a common struggle doesn’t mean one won’t use your information against you or broadcast what was supposed to be confidential. There’s nothing wrong with sharing your experiences, as they can help someone else, but choose carefully who you share them with.

Relationships aren’t cookie-cutter.

Shoot me, but I think Chrissy and Jim will get married (eventually). I felt basic as ever as I shed tears when he proposed (I was probably emotional anyway at the time). The next day, his proposal was scrutinized because he didn’t put the ring on her finger, he didn’t get down on one knee, etc. And? That wasn’t his style. Know the person you’re dating and how far they’re likely to go. They’ve been together, and they still haven’t married, so he probably won’t. Huh? Says who? Let’s all do what works for us individually. Hell, some folks like shacking up. Who am I to judge?

Sometimes friends have to remain separate.

Remember that time you tried to hang out with your friends from high school and your new friends from college? Or your friends from work and your friends from around the way? How’d that work out for ya? Actually, in my experience, I didn’t have problems, but the lesson is it’s not our job to be Super Friend and bring everyone together. This is real life, not a “We Are the World” video. We are different things to different people, and realistically everyone won’t like everyone. So, if you must bring two separate groups together, if you sense friction, don’t do a do-over. You’ll be the one the headache, not them.

Listen here (via Vibe.com)

Just minutes ago, the Twitter sky cracked as hip-hop fanatics, emos and thugs alike shed tattooed tears over Jay’s heartfelt tribute to little Blue. The song is probably his rawest yet, telling stories of “false starts” and a miscarriage and the seeing himself and his beautiful wife in her. Jay’s told us countless stories that have touched us, from losing his first love (“Song Cry”) to losing his nephew (“Lost Ones). He’s seen friend come and go, as well as a boatload of enemies, but he’d never had a child before.

All that aside, I thought about how Mr. Carter sets trends. Over a span of 10 years, he’s convinced us to stop drinking Cristal, stop using autotune. He made guys feel it was okay to not be “so young” anymore. Being and acting like an adult is cool, too. In fact, cooler. In no time, your ’round the way dudes were trading throwback jerseys for button downs, but never letting that Yankees fitted go. Good job, Jay! He showed us all that hip-hop is more than words over beats, but it’s a lifestyle and a business. One that proves to be lucrative if you do it right.

In his next phase, perhaps, he’ll model what a good father is. When Beyonce announced to the world that she was “with child,” millions of girls and women wanted to have a love like hers and even be pregnant. Will men do the same? Will “Glory” inspire young men to be a part of their children’s lives?

If so,  my position is two-fold.

(1) If one man can influence an entire culture to the point where men emulate him through being active in their children’s lives, that speaks volumes about the man. People do what they see, and if they only see Jay rapping about and more importantly, actively and financially taking care of his daughter, then it is what it is. Maybe he’s no different from that father, uncle or guy around the corner who’s a stand-up guy. Or President Obama.  Influence is a two-way street and there’s no way around it in life. Better that than a negative influence, right?

(2) Call me green (I’m not though), but it’s sad commentary when it takes a multi-millionaire icon to influence men to be what they should be anyway. Here’s why it happens though. Because there aren’t enough fathers or uncles or guys around the corner to look to. Actually, there are, but they’re out of reach for some folks.

So that brings up a new-old issue.  How can we make sure little boys and little girls see these role models consistently? Jay can’t do it all by himself, and I don’t think he’s trying to. It’s awesome to know that while you’re simply living your life, someone’s watching, waiting to follow in your footsteps.

Walk with humility and choose wisely where those footsteps take you. Somebody’s behind you whether you know it or not.

Congratulations to the Carters.

1. Obsess over the fate, mental and emotional capacity of single black women. If I see one more headline about single black women and why we can’t get a man, how we need to date white men to get even, when need to have babies and how we can keep from slitting our wrists from depression, I will scream. In the words of the great Jadakiss, “We gon’ make it.”

2. Monitor celebrities’ uteri and such. Ya’ll keep salivating and foaming at the mouth over Bey drops that load if ya’ll want to, hear? I hope the baby is healthy,but unless the Carters are putting in on this Sallie Mae, I couldn’t find another care to give.

3. Come up with another reality television show, spin-offs included. My mind just can’t take anymore. I should really read (write) a book.

4. Take self-portraits if your room or house isn’t clean. The set is just as important as the “model.”

5. Stop putting ALL your personal business, whereabouts and feelings on the INTERNETS. Trust me, just because we can relate doesn’t mean we care.

6. Complain about things in your life you don’t like, but continue to sit on your azz. No explanation needed.

7. Post your body parts and such on Twitter. Clearly, you don’t want a job. “The streets is watching.”

8. Duck and dodge Sallie Mae. (Who said that, me?!) She gotta respect my mind first though.

9. Cut the damn fool over sneakers, even if they are the Holy Grail of shoes, Jordans. Not that it was ever acceptable, but that was sooooo 1995. I guess we’re people of anticipation. Waiting to be the first ones to have everything is the trend, from iPads and phones to shoes. It’ll likely never stop as we (especially black folks) are driven by consumerism, but the violence has to.

10. Act as if life is one thing on social media sites, but it’s clearly another. Say, er, post what’s real. Someone knows the truth, even if it’s just you, and that’s enough.

I sat at my desk shaking trying to hold back the tears of laughter.  I immediately forwarded it to my girls, and we sent back our favorite questions and catch phrases that we thought Billy Sorrells (the actor) should add for the next episode because there HAS to be another episode. The shit was FUNNY.

Apparently, not everyone has our sense of humor though (you don’t know what you’re missing). After a few days and over a million viewer hits, I began to see posts suggesting the video was offensive. Come on, people. Really? To whom? Last time I checked, I’m a “black girl,” and while I don’t rock weave or wear shades with the connecting chain (I do know someone who has them though.), I’ve said quite a few of those phrases. “Delete, delete, delete”  and “It’s hot in here!” being my favorites. Am I suggesting that every black girl is the same, has the same conversations with her girlfriends and significant others? Nope. We’re all different as a result of our upbringings and experiences. Somewhere, there’s a black girl who doesn’t “get it” at all. Nothing wrong with that, but that doesn’t mean it’s offensive.

Do I need to get on these “Neo-blacks” again? Why is it okay for us to laugh at “Sh*t Everyone Else in the World Says,” but not ourselves? No, it’s not a 100 percent representation of us, but are any of the others? It’s fun and it’s lighthearted so why are we soooo uptight? An important lesson to learn is just because it’s not YOUR reality doesn’t mean it isn’t someone else’s. Where were you when John Singleton released Baby Boy, two hours filled with baby mamas, bootlegging, profanity and violence? Talk about someone who couldn’t relate. I watched the movie for the first time my jaw dropped pretty much the entire time. Now, it’s one of my favorites. It’s not offensive to me because someone lives that life, and who am I to judge? Where were you when In Living Color was the most viewed comedy sketch on network television? The cast made fun of everyone. People were offended then, but if you can watch “Men on Film,” you can definitely watch “Sh*t Black Girls Say.”

There’s truth in humor. That’s what makes it so funny. Is that what you’re afraid of?

Next, Benita Miller, founder of The Brooklyn Young Mothers’ Collective, was quoted in the Huffington Post’s story, “Sh*t Black Girls Say” Video Goes Viral, But Offends Some Black Women”  as saying  to the Daily News,”While those images are funny to those of us who are well-educated, some young people don’t know how to filter the message”

No offense, Ms. Miller, but of all messages for our young girls to filter, you think this one is target worthy? How about some of Nicki Minaj’s videos, these provocative series about sex and drugs on MTV or any of the countless reality television shows that are shown every half hour (hello Erica Mena and Kimbella). Parents and “the village” should talk to girls about whatever they deem acceptable or not. Point blank, period.

So, in closing, much success to Billy Sorrells and the writer, Lena Waithe (a black woman *gasp*) for making millions us of laugh.  For those who are clutching their pearls over this hilarious video, I’ll leave you with some sh*t this black girl says:  Girl, bye!

After a woman goes on that date, answers that phone call or text that, unbeknownst to her, was the last, she often vents on the phone with her girlfriends saying, “I just wanted some closure.” What’s so difficult about ending a relationship on a “good note” by being real and explaining the who’s, what’s, when’s, where’s and why’s? Is it really that hard?

Depends on who you ask.  But that’s another story for another day. *Le sigh*

Actually, there’s no way to end a relationship on a “good note” when one person wants to end it and the other doesn’t. But, let’s just say you were to get that closure you thought you so desperately needed. What then?

The lack of closure, defined as “an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality,” is what keeps us hanging on to situations that are meant to die or atleast be put on hold. They are unsettled, hence, holding the power to keep some hanging in the balance some a while, sometimes for years. For the first time in my life after many, “I’m gonna call you backs” and “I’ll text you laters,” (yes, I’ve been an asshole and left guys hanging, too), I finally got the closure I’d thought I’d deserved for so long, even though I’ve never done the same for anyone else.

It was total blank stare moment.

I wanted to know why and when, and surely, he gave me a few blurred answers, but an explanation nonetheless. At that moment, there wasn’t much to do with the information provided but blink a few times, and say, “Umm, okay.” All that wishing and wanting for this so-called closure only rendered a two-word response (well, maybe it was a bit more than that)! It was much appreciated, but it wasn’t all I hoped it would be. Unlike I’d imagined, it didn’t give me the magical go-ahead to move on, nor did it make me feel any differently about the situation. I guess I was just happy to get it because I’d never gotten it before. There’s really a first time for everything.

I swirled our closure conversation around in my mind more than a few times. Since I’m a woman, I came up with a few theories of my own. I can’t say that wondering why he felt the way he did was any better than wondering why it ended had he not talked to me about it. As my grandmother would say, “It’s just one of dem thangs.”

So, in short, because we’re human, we’ll always have questions, even when we can deal with the outcomes. And that’s okay. I take nothing away from men and women who were abandoned by or lost their parents or loved ones, significant others, etc., who really feel they need answers to make sense of this crazy thing called life. Though we don’t always get them, we all definitely deserve them. For me though, closure was more of a courtesy than a ticket to reconciliation and contentment. I am the only one who can control my reaction to it all, which ultimately affects my happiness.

I’m not fat, big, thick or anything close to it, so I wasn’t offended for that reason, but how unfair are those demands? Women will take men looking any kind of way: skinny, fat, blind, crippled and crazy (Hello Amber Rose!) Maybe that’s the problem though. Then, I remembered that men are visual. They LOVE to LOOK, so physical appearance, especially for some more than others, is of utmost importance. Le sigh.

Men and women are different, and it is what it is, but here’s the thing: No one goes hard on men who’ve let themselves go. I gotta tell ya, I don’t know much worse than seeing a man who used to be fine after he’s morphed into a busted can of biscuits. What a let down, but hey, life happens. Here’s my tribute, if that’s what you want to call it, to a few guys who’ve traded in their workout sessions for hot dogs and ham hocks.

D’Angelo

Somewhere around 1999-2000, you could say this man’s name and every woman in the room would let out a collective, “Oooh!!” All he had to do was stand in front a black background nude on his video, “Untitled” and make ladies swoon. Don’t act like you didn’t wish the camera went just a little lower as it panned his body. Anyway…some years ago, after falling off the scene, Mr. Voodoo emerged with a DUI and a brand new body. Life without a record deal gets tough, I reckon.

Busta Rhymes

Foreal, this dude went from hula-hooping through a Cheerio as a member of Leaders of the New School to something like a well-oil machine as a solo artist. The muscles, tats and dreds were working as a great team. Next thing I know, he’s on the BET Awards with a rotund stomach, looking like Bill Cosby’s long-lost brother. I guess he just said, “F*** it.” Oh well.

Bobby Brown

First things, first: Bobby Brown was never fine, per se. He was skinny, so that makes his weight gain even more drastic. You didn’t forget his stint on Celebrity Fit Club, right? As New Edition performed at the Essence Music Festival this summer, I thought about how the mighty had fallen. Bobby, the front man in his head, was the king of gyrations, grinding and body rolls. After one song, he was huffin’ and puffin’ about to blow somebody’s house down. I know for sure, when they finally took a seat to close out, on the inside, he broke out into a praise dance. He’s no longer the slim jim he once was, but I guess it’s his prerogative.

Okay, it was all in fun. Do what makes you feel good, but make sure you’re healthy. Everyone isn’t meant to be thin, just as everyone isn’t meant to have excess weight. If you’re going to require that your mate takes care of themselves, you should commit to do the same.

Girl crush has become quite the catchy phrase pop culture.  It’s a cute way of women saying there’s something about another woman that she likes, whether it’s her fashion choices, her hair or body. Flip through any women’s magazine or peruse any blog, and you’ll likely see posts like this with some brazen, beautiful woman’s face below the heading.

Upon first hearing “girl crush,” I freaked me out a bit. When I hear the word “crush,” I think of Ronnie DeVoe of New Edition or my first kindergarten boyfriend, Otis (don’t laugh), who was two inches shorter than me, not a woman. There’s a dark side to girl crushes. I’ve seen women gush over Ciara’s legs (but definitely not her feet), wishing they could detach their own and replace them with hers like real, live dolls. Or how about the ultimate: tattooing the Barbie logo on your breast in honor of Nicki Minaj? Try as you might, adopting multiple personalities and snapping hot pink hair pieces in your hair don’t make you that woman.

Though I’ll probably never use the term in my writing nor everyday conversation, after giving it some thought, I get it. Sometimes, and rightly so, admiration heeds compliments, and giving a woman a genuine compliment is never a crime.

In Boomerang, Eddie’s Murphy’s witty character, Marcus Graham pointed out to Halle Berry’s character, Angela, that women are more likely to give other women compliments than men. “See, that’s what women do. You’ll look at a woman and say, ‘Oh, she’s cute or her hair is nice. Men don’t look at another man and say, ‘Oh, look at the shoulders.’”

Honestly, I would probably pay money for a body like Tracee Ellis Ross’s when I hit my 40s, and yes, even today, if I could get away with wearing a sequin leotard and dancer’s tights combo like Beyonce and look stunning, I would. Then I remember my own attributes and the idea that even these women who are portrayed as perfection personified swoon over someone else too.

Everyone, no matter how beautiful or smart, admires another woman. It could be your mother for her beauty that stares back at you in the mirror or her many accomplishments as a mother, businesswoman and provider. It could be a Rihanna for her against-the-grain bravado or it could be a woman you see walking down the street who exudes confidence effortlessly.

Take Oprah Winfrey, who cites Diana Ross as her “inspiration,” after seeing her on television as a young girl, saying during an interview, “because of how much this woman means to me in my life and for every little girl who dared to dream” as she fought back tears. When I look at “girl crushes” in that lens, it doesn’t seem so weird anymore. Out of admiration comes respect.

So, no, there’s nothing wrong with having a girl crush, as long as it’s a healthy propeller for us, instead of an obsession and means to devalue ourselves.  Rather than try to switch our body parts, hair and other attributes for theirs, we must remember that we, ourselves are crush worthy, too.

We get wayyyy too excited about things that don’t matter–to me anyway. Here’s  quick list:

The New iPhone (and other Apple products)

Before you shoot me with your bow and arrow, I am an iPhone owner and recent owner of the iPad2. I gets down with Steve and ‘nem. What I can’t get jiggy with is the hysteria that surrounds the unveiling of new Apple products. As I type, a zillion tweets, posts, blogs and texts are being sent over the airwaves about Siri and the iPhone 4s’s new features. I.can’t.take.it. Until I touch a person’s name in my contact list, and they magically appear before my very eyes, I’m not excited.

Beyonce’s Pregnancy

Ever since she let the cat out of the bag during her heartwarming performance of “Love on Top,” media have gone stir crazy over Bey’s baby. She’s a smart woman, or atleast someone on her team is because they’re playing this preggo deal all the way up. Surely, you’ve seen her 30 second video snippet for “Countdown.” Must we photograph, scrutinize or drool over every picture showing her stomach or her latest pregnancy cravings? It doesn’t matter because it will happen anyway. Am I happy for her? Absolutely. She wanted a family and has been blessed with one. Do I want to read about it? No.  So, I make a conscious effort to get my scroll on when necessary. I guarantee somewhere, some fool will have a real baby shower for “Baby Carter.” Stop it now.

Mixtape/Album Drops

I won’t say much on this except, good PR is good PR. I know I’m not the only one whose Twitter timeline was full of twitpics of Bey’s ’4′ album or boasts about having ‘Watch the Throne’ downloads before us mere mortals could purchase it from the store. We love good music and apparently, everything about the artists. Maybe that’s what makes the music so much more enjoyable, the connection to the person. With that said, I can still do without the hoopla over J.Cole, the Jay vs. Lil Wayne beef (wait, that’s kinda entertaining though) or Drake’s Bill Cosby sweaters.

Trial Verdicts

Newsflash: The American judicial system is flawed. Very flawed. We should absolutely protest and speak out against injustices. I acknowledge that outrage over verdicts will likely never cease, as they’ve been happening forever (What’s up Watts!). What kills me is the misinformation or ignorance about trials. Unless you’ve been under rock, you should know that Amanda Knox, an American student, was freed yesterday after being held in jail in Italy for four years. There were a ton of comments likening her to Casey Anthony and comparing her to Troy Davis. Yet another white woman gets off scott-free, they said. Hey people, she wasn’t even tried in America. Italian courts don’t care for Americans, so put the race card back in the deck. Pull it some other time when it’s appropriate.

The Black Bonnet Mafia.

You know what it is

The Black Bonnet Mafia is a group of women who venture out in public places wearing their black satin hair bonnets, which are for home use only. I have a black bonnet, and you probably have one, too. But do you wear yours to a quick trip to Wal-Mart? Wait, don’t answer that. Anyway, lately, I’ve been seeing a ton of BBM members at the most unusual places: the store, mall, utility company. It’s insane! They are about as many members as they are in the Divine 9 and Nation of Islam combined. Why is this happening?

Maybe they’re just too lazy to take their hair down or don’t think its worth it for a quick run to pick Lil Man up from school. Perhaps, they figure we can’t see the bonnet because it’s black. Seriously, I have seen women out in complete outfits and makeup but Whatever the reason, it has to stop.

Promise me you will not join this organization, or if you are involved, you’ll turn in your membership card ASAP. We’re embarrassing our children and ourselves. I consider myself a friend, and friends doing let friends wear their bonnets in public.