The Pathway to Love

Things I will tell my son or any young man who asks me about love will include: Always try to be the funniest man she ever dated, and I don’t care if one of her ex-boyfriends is named Chris Rock or Eddie Murphy. Crack her up.

-Jozen of Until I Get Married, On Laughing

Now this is a smart man. In light of his latest blog, I want to express how much laughter means to me–in relation to men. Call it a sexy factor or just plain genetics (my father looks at Sanford & Son daily and still laughs uncontrollably as if it’s not over 30 years old. So does my older brother.), but a laughter is a huge turn-on for me. Even better, it’s damn near a requirement. I can’t recall a guy I’ve dated or even entertained briefly who didn’t have what I’ll call “kikis and cackles.”

I first heard that from a college friend, who I also find to be hilarious at all times. Hell, I don’t even think he knows I “stole” this from him, but just like him, the term had me in stitches. Humor is such an important factor in dating to me. It’s probably the easiest, yet hardest thing a man can do to make me smile. When I do laugh though, I laugh. Not chuckle or “sniggle”, but a CACKLE. It’s uncontrollable and even ugly. I can hardly ever laugh without crying, too, so if I can unleash that laugh and not be embarrassed in front of a man, it’s a wrap. I’m in my comfort zone and you’ve got me.

In fact, despite ill feelings towards some situations involving men, when I reminisce about the kikis and cackles we had, it’s as if the slate is temporarily wiped clean. Maybe I’m a sucker for jokes, but atleast I recognize that. Laughter is good for the soul and it can never be taken back.


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