Bad Bitches vs. Regular Chicks

Going through my daily blog routine just now, I clicked on YBF.com to get my gossip fix. I scroll and scan and come across a post on Pharrell Williams and his new girlfriend, who is surprisingly, also his baby’s mother. First, let me say that I had no idea he’d had a child, but he is like 35 or so. He just looks like he’s 28. I’m sucker for a pretty boy. Anyway, I had my fingers crossed that it wasn’t his previous girlfriend. I think she was some white model or something.

Nope, she isn’t white, but she is black. Or atleast seems to be. Praise Jesus! If you frown up at that statement, kick rocks. I want to see Black men with Black women. It’s not an ignorant want. Is there anything wrong with that?

The comments section on YBF is always entertaining, so I took a gander. Readers didn’t have so much of problem with her race, as they did her overall appearance. Check it:

“I always hate it when I see a male (specifically African American) that I feel just deserves a bad ass chick, and it just doesnt happen. If its love, congrats to them. If she’s just ‘his girl’, thats weak as hell.”

“WOAH, I always thought she’d be much better looking woman, considering his taste and previous girls.”

“obviously, he thinks she’s the right one. i can imagine how the comment section would have blown up if she was some kind of “exotic”, “can’t identify her race type chick”.if anything this should be a positive because she looks like, anyone one of us.” *(total co-sign)

Okay, ignore the horrific grammar and spelling errors and the fact that most YBF commenters are probably high-schoolers and early college students (no shade to the freshmen out there!).  What’s basically said is the girl isn’t “bad” enough for Pharrell. She looks “regular.” I usually turn my head to some of the ignorant things people say, but women–young and old—have felt that way atleast once in their lives.

I know because I’ve been that woman.

About a year ago, I was talking to an old friend. Just as a friend. We talked on the phone and hung out on a platonic level, but I’ll be honest say I thought he was hot. There was chemistry there on his end, too. One time in particular, we tried to hang out and do something similar to a “date,” but of course we didn’t call it that. At the last minute, he canceled with some unbelievable lame excuse. I couldn’t be mad about it though because we weren’t linked romantically and weren’t trying to be. Something or someone was in the way though.

Fast forward to All-Star Weekend. My girls and I were casually fab, lounging at one of the local hot spots. In walks The Friend, dressed to the nines (as he always is). He eyes me and I prepare to speak as he gets closer. The closer he gets, I realize that the woman walking slightly behind him isn’t just another girl out on the town. She is with him.

She is The Girlfriend. The one I didn’t know about. She isn’t a “bad bitch.” She.is.a.Plain.Jane. She was wearing a simple turtleneck with baggy Mom jeans and a dent in her hair—proof that it’d been stuffed in a ponytail or bun all day. She didn’t have on a hint of makeup or even earrings. Once my crew and I caught a glimpse of her, our faces screwed up in slow motion, like in the movies.

We were disappointed. I was disappointed. I’m a firm believer in all things girly, from bangle bracelets to lip gloss and clutches. I thought, How could a stylish swag-filled guy like that be with Plain Jane? Sigh. In true fashion, after I attacked the girl, I attacked him. Just like a man with a huge ego to want a woman who fades in his shadow, right?

My friends, none of those arguments mean a damn thing. Maybe he just likes the girl. Perhaps she does something for him that cute outfits, MAC and a mean shoe game can’t supply. The same thing goes for Skateboard P and his girl. Why do we think that a man should have a “bad chick” or a “5 Star” chick? Yes, we all should want mates who take care of themselves and care about their appearances, but who really, really is walking out of the house with stilettos, a fully-beat face and a killer fit EVERYDAY? Not even Bey and Rihanna. We all have our days.

I’ll guess that those women who complain about men having “regular” chicks are just as “regular” they are, atleast 35 percent of the time. We’re all entitled to a makeup-free/ponytail day, aren’t we? Don’t let the glamour of internet celebrities fool you. Most men prefer the natural look anyway. Only God knows what’s under all that foundation, primer, liner, shadow and blush! You’ve gotta show it at some point.

My final point: If it’s weaves and sew-ins, Nars and heels, do you, but don’t knock the next woman who can do without it. There’s more than what meets the eye and he sees whatever that is.

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One thought on “Bad Bitches vs. Regular Chicks

  1. I had this conversation the other day with a friend. I told him i’m convinced men like plain janes. I’m not saying that I’m not because i’m definitely a sweat pants/baskbetball shorts and tee shirt kinda girl BUT i am very open to the things that I wear. I have creative freedom and don’t feel the need to match all the time, I’m the “weird” girl. The one guys take in public and everybody looks twice… but i’ve come to find out most of my male friends don’t want that, they like the one that blends in.

    just my 2 cents.

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