My REAL Age…This Is Some BS

A little about me:  I’m 28 years old. I’m tall. About 5’10. Up to 6’2 or so with heels on ( I rarely wear flats). Under 140 pounds. Monique would call me a “skinny bitch.” My body mass is only 22 percent. And still, I’m unhealthy. Being brutally honest, I’m out of shape.

Looking at me, you wouldn’t know it though (thank God). Whenever I and exercise are mentioned in the same breath, I almost ALWAYS get the side-eye from people. Just yesterday, I was telling a friend that I really needed to get into the gym. Again, I got the eye roll and lip scrunch (you know the one I’m talking about). No matter how many crazy looks I get, I know my body and I don’t feel at my best. It’s time for a change.

Five years ago, I got on this fitness kick. I opened a gym membership and went hard three times a week, doing cardio and some light weights until I started grad school again. To say it was a wrap is an understatement. Ever since, I’ve been the ultimate slacker. I never gain weight anyway, so I  really didn’t see the immediate need to exercise. I look in shape, but I’m not. I’ve even gone so far as to get a letterof approval to use the  university rec center at a discount. form my department head. Believe me, it was like pulling teeth to do that. **Patting myself on the back for putting forth actual effort.

I went to my parents’ house tonight to set up their Wii. Mama and I made profile the Wii Fit Plus. It gave us our BMI, weight and fitness age. I was eager to find out my stats. I stepped on to the board and I immediately knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. My avatar stood there, as the age was calculated. The anticipation was building. The bars continued to swirl to show activity….Finally, the age popped up in the background.

There it was in big, bold and bright numbers…..40. 40 f’ing years old. That’s how old I am in fitness???? Like, seriously, dude??! That’s 12–count them–12 years my senior! No disrespect to Jay and everybody else who hit the Fabulous 40 this year but this is a disgrace. I just stood there in front of the screen, mouth opened wide, eyes bugged with my very best WTF? look on, as my Daddy gave his signature laugh and my mom, in true fashion said, “There it is!” It’s so bad, the avatar even hung her head in shame, as if to say, “Womp, womp!” Standing on the balance board, I followed suit. Sigh.

Wait, 40 though? The system has to have some kind of error, right? Here’s how they came up with the figure:

“Wii Fit Age: After you’ve checked your BMI, you’ll do a basic balance test and find out your current Wii Fit Age. This basic balance test measures how well you can control your left and right balance. Based on the results, you’ll be assigned a Wii Fit Age.”

I’m 40 years old in fitness, and I suppose I feel like it. I know I do. I sit down all day at work, sit down at the laptop when I get home. Rarely, do I take leisure walks, even to stretch my muscles out. Oh, but I will walk downstairs to get a Texas Big Cinnamon Roll from the vending machnine. It’s a damn shame.

Apparently, you can find your fit age daily, so you know I’ll be back on that balance board tomorrow. If I ever needed motivation to get up, get out and get something, Wii has given it to me.

On a more  positive note, I wore channeled my little girl self and a little bit of the First Lady and wore the Super Hula Hoop out.

I got 288 spins in three minutes. I’m something like a pro with the hula hoop!


One thought on “My REAL Age…This Is Some BS

  1. Girl if you’re 40 then mine will surely say I’m dead! LOL. You’ve got me scared to go to Target and buy it now:-(

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