Do Single Women Get a Day Off?

During my commute to work, I was channel surfing and landed on the Steve Harvey Morning Show. I listen to him often, and I was disappointed to find that I’d just missed the dating segment by a few seconds. Steve was talking with a guy, 27, who had gone out on the blind date. Through all of his hit or miss jokes and banter with the guy, he made a statement that caught my attention.

Ladies,  if you are single and on the market looking for a husband, you don’t get a day off.

If you missed the hidden clues, he meant a day off from looking “good.” In summary, Harvey went on to say that single women should always advertise their goods because men are visual creatures. Show them something. You’ll miss your potential husband looking “tore up from the floor up.”

Shirley, one of the co-hosts, said it’s okay for a woman to have an Off Day. What if she’s just running to Wal-Mart or on a quick errand in the Errand Go-To Outfit, tank and jogging pants? Steve said that’s a no-no. No man wants to look at a woman in sweatpants with tears, grease stains and holes in them.

What do ladies and men think about the “No Day Off” policy? Is it fair? Should men have the same rule?

I have my thoughts, but first, we should establish exactly what a “day on” means. Does it mean I can’t rock my ponytail (usually the day before or of my salon appointment) every now and then? Should I come out dressed in heels and a full face of make-up? I know many who do it. I can’t say it makes much sense (especially in this heat), but anyway.

There’s a way to look presentable to the public and men, specifically without being over the top.  Some women either don’t know or haven’t mastered the art. We’ll call them the Extremists: They’re always either on 10 or -1. Never in between. How exhausting to be on both ends regularly! I am often told by friends, “We’re just going to eat. Don’t get all jazzy!” While, I won’t always wear four-inch heels to a casual restaurant, I never (ever) wear tennis shoes either. (It’s just not in me. Sorry). But even in the most casual settings, you should still look your best, whatever that may be.

So I’ve taken it upon myself to draft rules for an Undercover Day Off. These are days when you just don’t feel like going all the way “there.” I think we deserve those days, too. Ask any woman whose job is to be “on” 24/7, I”m sure you’ll say it’s exhausting. Keep in mind, these may not apply to you because quite frankly, we’re different.

Do not leave home without earrings on. Sorry, ladies. You don’t get a pass on this one. Nothing bothers me more than an earring hole without an earring in it. That goes for women and men. If you think hanging earrings are a bit much, please, get your stud game up.

Extreme: Evelyn, president of the Big Earrings Society

If jeans are your standard casual or dress wear, please find jeans that fit properly. No “Mom Jeans,” but avoid the blinged-out-so-tight-you have a camel toe jeans, too. Aren’t you just going to drop a book off at the library? Calm down.

If you have a Bad Hair Day, find a style that works for you. It could be a sleek ponytail, or if the ponytail is a mess, too, try a bun. A decorative headband. Anything that keeps your hair in place. If you’re going to wear a hair piece,  please make sure it matches.  

Jada Pinkett’s wonderful ponytail.

ATLEAST wear lipgloss. There’s no need to walk around looking like Tyrone Biggums. Don’t want to spend money on high-end lip glosses? Get some Carmex. Try the Milani line at Walgreens. Something. You don’t have to have a fully beaten face to look pretty. I was told by my aunt, a longtime Mary Kay consultant, that no woman should leave home with powder on. If you agree, DON’T go cheap on that. Invest in a good foundation/powder. MAC is your friend. Find her.

Conversely, looking like a clown isn’t an option either. Dont’ have your own personal makeup artist? Natural and light is always the way to go.

via Coco and Creme

Find clothes that fit well and accentuate your body. When I was a frehsman in college, there was a group of girls, who always wore basic tees from Gap, jeans and flat sandals/flip-flops. The highest heel I ever saw any of them wear was a two-inch wedge, maybe. A striped t-shirt and jeans isn’ the sexiest ensemble, so I couldn’t figure out how they looked so “together” and “classic.”  I, on the other hand, was killing myself walking the campus in stilettos, tight jeans and trendy shirts. I finally figured out that their clothes fit them to the T. Though they were basic pieces, they were still able to show their figures without going off the deep end. It works.

Ms. Berry makes casual look so easy.

Wear accessories, but keep them to a minimum. Yes, I’ve done it, too, but contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to wear bangles up to your elbows or earrings bigger than your head to complete an outfit. A simple bangle or a signature ring and/or watch work, as well.

Always wear perfume–find a signature fragrance if you can. Mama always told me that. (I know you’re reading this. Shocked, aren’t you?) No, you can’t see perfume, but you can smell it. The sense of smell is far more enticing than sight. I can’t be the only one who smells memories (grandmama’s cooking, an old flame). Even though you’re not wearing that form-fitting dress and “Eff Him Girl Pumps,” your scent may cause him to look twice.

Courtesy of Marie Claire

Now, that that’s out of the way,  let’s talk about it. What do you think about “No Day Off” policy? What are you “off days” like, if you have them? Men, do you agree with “all-knowing” Steve Harvey?


15 thoughts on “Do Single Women Get a Day Off?

  1. I take most things that come out of Steve Harvey’s mouth with a grain of salt. I do believe that you are projecting an image when you step outside of the house but you don’t have to always be on point. Now, I don’t think you should look sloppy… but there’s a way to have a casual look that’s still cute. Even running to the store in some sweats and a tee… you can throw on some lip gloss, shades and look great! Men are visual, but anyone that’ll be with you is going to eventually see what you look like sans makeup, heels, hair, etc….

    On another note, I think women put too much pressure on themselves to always be “on”. Getting a man isn’t that serious… you should be stressed out about your appearance 24/7.

  2. I love this post! I agree with your bare minimums. I NEVER leave the house without earrings. It’s like bathe, brush my teeth, put on earrings. LOL..I can have on sneakers, sweats and a hat and still have on noticeable earring. Speaking of sneakers and hats.. I think its ok if it’s super cute! There are some really nice track suits(full length and capri) that fit well but still offer comfort and look nice.

    In a way I agree with Harvey(shudders). I believe that there are no “off” days for anyone who sets foot outside of their house. My mother always told me to be presentable, dress for YOUR body and be lady-like. Dirty, ill-fitted, worn- anything is not presentable.

    SN: I thought I was the only one who noticed Evelyn’s gigantic earrings. I wanna snatch ’em and run.. lol.. (hmm.. is that lady-like? doubt it.. sorry Ma)

    • YES, they ALL wear those huge earrings! And yes, you can wear tennis and track suits and be cute. I have a few, but I only have one pair of tennis shoes. Never been my thing.

  3. The perception of an “off day” is so arbitrary, but I do agree that dressing for your body is important. If a woman knows what works with her size and shape then is there a possibility that she will ever have an “off day”?

  4. YES! @ this whole post…especially the earrings part.

    I have left home without earrings before, and doubled back to get them. I just felt naked and out of order.

    I always have lipgloss, and either mascara, or eyeliner on the waterline. Even running next door to the store.

    My name is Titia, and I approve this post in its entirety, lol!

    • And just to be clear, I don’t approve the whole thing ONLY so I can always be “catch-a-man” ready…but just because I should have some integrity in the way I look at all times. Just saying… 🙂

  5. Okay, so I love this post! I agree that you should always look your best, but then again that’s just the type of person I am. I am single and looking for a man, and I must admit I do a little extra when I am stepping out. Why? Because, I want a man who can recognize/appreciate a classy and well dressed woman. I agree that he will see you eventually without make-up, if this happens to become your man, but why now? He doesn’t know you and therefore is not really obligated to get to know you unless he likes what he sees.
    This is not hard for me because like I said, it’s me. I love fashion, hair, shoes and I have no problem doing it everyday. Not only for him, but for myself. When you look good, you feel good. It isn’t always about a man, although I keep the fact that I am single in mind when I dress for the day lol…But to each its own and I wouldn’t recommend doing something you are not comfortable doing and something you wouldn’t be able to keep up, but look your best, feel your best, and do your best. Single or Not …That is all!

  6. So true Steve and Alisha.. I’ve been seeing that to my female friends forever! I think it’s more about looking approachable than to the nines presentable. Good article!

  7. Great blog, Lish!

    First, I think Mr. Harvey should re-evaluate some of the advice that he gives. Single women should not be looking for a husband. Proverbs 18:22 “He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” When your husband does find you and it is ordained by God, he should have had to seek God in order to find you in the first place.

    So if a man is falling for Steve’s “single woman propaganda” of women advertising their goods, he’s looking in all the wrong places! (Ha! “advertising our goods” doesn’t even sound tasteful—it sounds like single women are giving men a meat market to choose from.) I personally feel like there is nothing wrong with a woman enhancing her beauty, but how far is too far just to “find” a man?

    I definitely agree with you on “There’s a way to look presentable to the public and men, specifically without being over the top.“ Great advice! We as women should feel good about ourselves and take pride in our appearance at all times (whether that be dressed down or up) but doing the “extra” just because you are single is a bit much.

    Let him find you, single ladies!!!! 🙂

  8. I completely disagree with the opinions of this article. Do you know what kind of men you’ll be attracting if you follow this “No day-off” routine? The SHALLOW ONES, that’s what kind! Wear whatever you want to wear when you’re not @ work! If you’re good looking then it doesn’t matter, & if you’re not, why would you want to hide yourself to be fake? Remember, beauty is in the eye of the beholder…If a man doesn’t appreciate a pretty women wearing sweatpants & a T-shirt doing her Saturday morning grocery shopping, then who needs him? People should be understanding of certain times of sloppiness. PERIOD! EVERYONE DOES IT! I’ve never known one woman NOT to ever wear sweatpants or no make-up @ least once in her life. Look @ men. Most men ARE sloppy. Why is it that a woman ALWAYS has to impress a man? Why?!? It’s so aggravating & belittling already. I love to dress nice & I’m a make-up, fragrance, & nail junkie! I can’t go without my finger & toe nails being done. I LOVE to do my make-up everyday, BUT (there’s a BIG BUT here!) If I need to run to the corner store for Advil or personal items, I’m throwing on a baseball cap, sweats, no make-up & my glasses (instead of my contacts)! Even celebrities go out like this! Come on people! Screw men! Sometimes I’ll do the opposite of what my husband likes just to turn him off on purpose! Why? Because I can! All women can! It’s empowering! Dress up like a diva when YOU want to, never just because you want to attract a man!

    I always tested out my men too. This is what I’d do to find a good one: I always wear make-up & try to look as best as I can as often as I can but after dating a guy for about a month I’ll pull out my sweats, baseball cap, & no make-up look. If the men are normal, straight men, then they won’t care a bit. Give it a try around your new man & see what he’s made of. It’s a good way to weed out the worms!

  9. Great Post Till!!!!

    I’m all for a day off, some days I get up and just don’t feel like dressing up is what I want to do. But here are my MUSTS…..

    Earrings are a MUST for me….I CANNOT leave my house without them!! I will turn around and go back home, like when you leave your cell phone. And I even keep a pair of studs in my car.

    I learned the lip gloss trick from Wendy Williams. Coco Butter sticks work well when you forget the lipgloss….it has a little sheen to it….

  10. I know I’m late to this post but I agree that single women, or any woman for that matter, shouldn’t take a day off.

    I’ve always been taught you never know who you might meet so I always look the part. Whether I’m going to the grocery store or work, I’m always well put together. You’ll never catch me wearing an oversized t-shirt or tennis shoes or go out looking like I don’t give a care. I just feel like you never know when an opportunity will present itself, whether it’s finding a man or a new job.

    First impressions are important and I’d never want to miss an opportunity just because I was having an “off” kind of day. But that’s just me.

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