Six Things I’m Not Ashamed to Do

This post was born from a tweet of mine regarding New Year’s Eve. In short, I’m not ashamed to admit I’m always torn between going to church and going out to celebrate. FYI: I opted to go out only. I’d feel guilty leaving service early to go to a party. I guess that’s a debate for another time. Anyway, here are a few other things I’m not ashamed to do.

1. Get highly pissed aggravated when I realize Chick-fil-A isn’t open on Sundays. Why do I only crave Chick-fil-A breakfast on Sunday mornings? It’s conveniently located right by the interstate, but I only think about it then. I can’t knock founder, Truett Cathy, for keeping his company closed to “rest” on the Sabbath. In fact, I commend him, as I always hated working on Sundays. I guess the cliché is true. “You always want what you can’t have.”

2. Redeem my Victoria’s Secret cards for a free panty with no intention of buying anything else. I am a firm believer that a woman can never, ever have enough bras and panties. With so many styles to choose from, it’s only right that I try things out to find what works for me. I think that’s the point. Effective marketing. Right? 

3. Stock up on all kinds of sweets, chocolate and junk food only when it’s that” time of the month.” Not too long ago, I felt a hint of shame as I rolled my shopping cart up to the check-out counter at the grocery store. What was in my cart? Ben & Jerry’s, Oreos, a bag of chips, a box of brownies…and a movie-size box of Chewy Lemonheads. The cashier gave me that look like, “You, too, huh?” I guess game recognizes game. Oh, and if you think me mentioning that “time of the month,” is inappropriate, grow up. It’s how we all got here (or maybe the lack, thereof)

4. Reading an entire magazine in the checkout line or a few chapters of a book in the bookstore with no intention of buying it. So what? Why else would they put tables, chairs and sofas in Barnes and Noble? In the words of Smokey, “Take advantage, man. Take advantage.”

5. Act a fool in the car when my song comes on–even if it’s at the light. Laugh if you want, but when I’m in my car, it is my stage. Depending on what song it is, I could be seen Prepping, bobbing my head a la’ Notorious B.I.G., perfecting my Michael Jackson neck swivel or even crying. Music just does that to me, and I can’t control it. Sometimes I get outright stares; other times, laughs.  And there are some occasions when I look over to see the person in the next lane going harder than me! Hilarious. There’s no telling what the man riding next me on 240 was thinking today. Erykah Badu was on, so I wasn’t responsible for my behavior.

5. Order a kid’s meal–for me. Yeah, I don’t have kids, but that doesn’t mean I won’t order meal every now and then. It’s cost efficient and sometimes you get just as much as a regular meal. It’s all about portion control, you know.

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11 thoughts on “Six Things I’m Not Ashamed to Do

  1. This got me thinking… I’m not ashamed to:

    1. Go to the bathroom wherever I am…. there’s nothing cute about “holding it” so public bathrooms don’t terrify me. I’m a firm believer in a courtesy flush lol.

    2. Admit that I’m on a budget and forgo doing certain things if it’s not financially in the plan. Some people are ashamed about their finances and overextend themselves. I don’t mind saying no.

    3. Tell my OB/GYN the truth about everything!!! This may seem pretty basic but I’ve had friends lie on their paperwork about simple things. My past is my past and I don’t mind being honest on those forms.

    • Those are excellent! Your OBGYN can’t help you fully if they don’t know the truth. Cosign on the bathroom thing. Depending on the conditions, of course, I don’t mind using public bathrooms. When I have to go, I have to go! #3…Just told a friend recently that dining out is a no-no for a while.

  2. LOL @ #1. Only on Sunday’s do I think about CFA milkshakes. I thought I was the only person who did that.

    I’m not ashamed to be the voice of dissension in the room regarding sensitive topics. I had strong opinions and sometimes contrary to the majority. Folks seem scared of differing opinions and I fear that the art of debate is dying.

  3. Great post! I can totally relate to each and every one of those things especially the Chick-fil-A one and losing it in the car when my song comes on. Don’t know what it is but I have a craving for those chicken minis every Sunday morning.

  4. Girl this list had me laughing. I’ve done all of the above especially buying a bunch of junk around that time of the month. When I throw a Butterfinger and white powdered doughnuts in the grocery basket, the hubby will raise a brow and say, “That time again, huh?”

    And yes I too crave Chick-Fil-A on a Sunday. The things that I’m not ashamed to do?

    1. Use some “Mama Spit” to wipe a smudge on daughter’s face. (I know we all say we won’t do it to our children, but trust when you have a child you will.)

    2. Cut all my hair off and then add a long weave two weeks later.

    3. Kiss my dog. Yes, I know where her mouth has been, but I can’t help it when I look at those puppy dog eyes.

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