Four Hidden Revelations From Watching Dr. Phil

Since the launch of Oprah’s OWN Network, I’ve been watching a lot of television. Scratch that–a lot of Dr. Phil. Pair my new obsession with all of these snow days we’ve been having, and you’ve got me sitting on my couch, eating Chewy Lemonheads & Friends, glued to the television watching “the big guy.” I’ve never been much of a fan, but lately, his shows have been on point and tons more interesting than Oprah’s. I’m always at work when these talk shows air, so I’m out of the loop on all the craziness that goes on in the world. In just two weeks, my eyes have been opened to the way some people live. That isn’t a judgemental statement; it simply means that in some way we confine ourselves, our lives and our children’s lives by the choices we make or situations we choose to stay in. Here’s what I know for sure:

I’m not a gold-digger, but I can spot one who isn’t on her job. (Gold-digging Secrets Revealed)

In an episode about gold diggers, a 24-year-old African-American woman, Baje’ defended her lifestyle, saying she saw nothing wrong with having men provide lavish gifts, vacations and even a down payment on her new home. After being on her own since 17, putting herself through school and modeling full-time, she was getting her just do by getting men for all they have. She was tired of men asking for sex in exchange for photo shoots and runway shows, so her new motto was, “Get them before they get me.”

Okay, that’s cool.  I wont’ knock her because I know somewhere in her story lies some hurt and in turn, some sacrifices, be they physical or moral have to be made. If there’s foolery going on, believe that Karma will make her way back around. My problem was with her friend, who sent her to Dr. Phil. However, she’s like her wack protege’. After being hurt in a relationship, she decided to adopt Baje’ gold digging ways. The first step in Gold Digging 101 is to look the part. The friend’s weave was less than impressive. Let’s be honest, it was bad. Her attire wasn’t as sexy as Queen Gold-Digger and she sounded desperate to hang on to Baje’s coattail. To add insult to injury, she told Dr. Phil that she was in a relationship. **Slow blink** She sees nothing wrong with getting a guy’s number and going out to dinner to get things from him. It’s not like she’s sleeping with him. Um, ma’am, if you had a boyfriend, you won’t have one when you get home. And if your boyfriend approves of your behavior, he’s not your boyfriend. He’s your pimp. Good luck with that.

There’s no way I could be with a controlling man–and both of us make it out alive. (Bossy Husbands)

First, this should have been named, “So Controlling, You Need Your A$$ Beat Husbands,” but I digress. An African-American couple was on for a brief moment. Because of this other lunatic on the panel, Dr. Phil had to take time away from them to handle him. Bottom line: The husband completely runs his wife’s life: From the tracking system installed on her cell to picking out her clothes and even selecting her hair color. What in THEE hell? Making decisions about my hair is where I draw the line. I’m sure he picks her “drawz” and bras out, too. What kind of man needs to do that? Better yet, what kind of woman allows it to happen for years? She looks so low and beat down. Down-trodden as the old hymns would say. Give me a schedule of whether to wear boy shorts or granny panties, and see a fight go down.

I’m actually not a hypochondriac. (What Do You Fear?)

I don’t think I am one though, but I believe in finding out what’s going on with my body. Let’s just say between WebMD and forums, I could be experiencing everything from pregnancy to cancer to skin disease. All of the symptoms run together. I’m not making light of these conditions, but you have to know when you need to seek medical help (thank God for linesisters who are nurses!) and when your mind is playing tricks on you.

Just last night, a show on phobias aired. Poor Kathleen. The 35 year-old mother of three thinks she’s dying every second. Her morning routine includes reading the obituaries for people in her age bracket who’ve passed, contacting their families to find out why/how they died and further obsessing over whether she’ll be next. For 15 years, she says she’s kept her children at home from school most days because she’s afraid to be alone. She has rapid anxiety and panic attacks. Just when I was about to call her crazy as hell, I felt sorry for her. So yeah, I’m good. The picture of health.

There’s a fine line between proper goal-setting and crazy. (Desperate Measures)

Case and point: A 35- year-old woman decided after attending a friend’s wedding that she was definitely going to marry the man of her dreams within a year. She wrote a plan, Project Husband, and got to work. She found a gown, reserved the church and reception location, bought the cake and selected invitations. The only thing that was missing was the most important part: the man. In all that time, she forgot about meeting men and dating. In her defense, she said she was setting goals and believed in the laws of attraction. I do, too, but she’s taken “putting the cart before the horse” to a whole ‘nother other level. Nevermind that it sometimes takes a year to figure out that you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone, let alone a marriage. She ignored the dating experts’ advice and went on with her project. When February 14, 2010 rolled around, do you think she married? Don’t worry, I”ll wait.

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One thought on “Four Hidden Revelations From Watching Dr. Phil

  1. DED@ down-trodden as the old hymns would say…

    I love this…and I think I can correlate an episode of Sex and the City to each of these scenarios. Hmm…
    *off to the writer’s den*

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