There’s all kinds of ratchetness going on, and to think, we wouldn’t know about half of it, it weren’t for VH1’s Sunday night lineup. Between the f Basketball Wives finale and the debut of the new reality show, Love and Hip Hop, I should have worn a gown to my living room to hand out awards like Kiki Shepard. Let the presentation begin…
Evelyn (Basketball Wives)
I could go in on Evelyn for several things in this episode alone, but I won’t. I won’t talk about the Hoe Moment she had with Chad Ochocinco after periodic Skype calls and dinner with ice cream. I gather that everyone’s had a HM or atleast a semi-HM at some point or another. No judgement there (plus it seemed to work). It’s life, and it happens, but the fact that she’s taped and the episode will be on re-aired on television for all to see, including her teenage daughter makes me want to take her to the altar with my next Sunday. Actually, her having a daughter isn’t an issue since I’m sure she passes her awesome “get a baller” tactics down to her.
This, right here, is how she got this award hands down. So, after hanging out with Tami for weeks on end, including a week-long trip abroad, she decides to share with Shaunie that she slept with Kenny Anderson, Tami’s ex-husband back in the late 90s.
*Shoulder tap* Ma’am, why has it taken you so long to tell Tami? Okay, okay, I know that Tami is damned near depressed and as paranoid as the day is long. She pops off on the regular, and that includes throwing hands. I can see how you would want to gauge her moods, hence your timing, but really, that’s not cool. For someone who prides herself on keeping it 100, you’ve lost credibility.
So, Tami spills her guts, expressing her admiration for you and the other girls (still a blank stare on that one), and suddenly, the guilt kicks in. You wait until she’s highly emotional and tipsy, forced to calm her nerves with a pack of Virginia Slims, to have confession time. Tami’s giving you the **slow blink** and going on about how she feels betrayed by you, when she was trying to build a friendship.
Your only comeback being that you didn’t know they were married wasn’t sufficient for Miss Tami. She’s not going saying, “Every b*tch walkin’ knew we were married.” I guess your idea that she would take your confession at face value would do, but to no avail…
Then you hit her with this: “Cuz you was a non-factor, b*tch!”
And that’s when you got your chin checked, as my West Coast friends would say. Anytime you are so self-absorbed that you miss the point of the beef at hand, you do need to be slapped. The issue wasn’t merely sleeping with Kenny, but it was the dishonesty. How dare you listen to her pour her heart out about her issues and hurt over her ex, and hold that? Wait, I know why. Because Tami is crazy as a box of rocks, and you didn’t want to risk getting your ass beat. Too bad that was inevitable anyway.
Do better, lady.
Chrissy (Love and Hip Hop)
Believe it or not, I’m not giving Chrissy, Jim Jones’ girlfriend of six years the award simply based on the fact that’s she even with him in the first place. I think Jim Jones is a handsome guy, but we all know he looks as dusty as a ceiling fan blade. I don’t know what it is. The braids? The five o’clock shadow? The clothes? Even in a suit, he still gives that grunge look. That’s not the point though.
Miss Chrissy will receive this award because not only is she giving the cast members advice on their men, or lack thereof, when she’s in the same boat, but she’s going H.A.M. on any woman who so much as breathes the same air as “Jimmy”. Really, lady? You’re acting a fool in public over him? Aw okay then. Because he’s a man, he loves that “crazy” in his woman, and I’m sure that keeps him coming back. Nevertheless, checking this new wannabe rapper chick for GP in the club was a no-no and so unattractive. Rather than ask about their relationship (which was still unnecessary), she went in on her appearance and attire. I wasn’t a fan of the sequin jumpsuit either, but when insecure, make personal attacks. Even though it was borderline ratchet, Somay’sa reaction to their run-in was classic. “You’re a kept bish. I’m kinda bish they keep.” Yeah, it would have been hard to top that one.
I actually like Chrissy. She doesn’t seem messy as of yet, but did I hear her say she “groomed” Jim Jones? Girl, bye. That’s a FAIL. And that upcoming proposal to him? Double bye. You don’t have children together. If you’re not happy, get out while you can.
Overall, this is what I’ve come up with. Ladies, we’ve got to do better. Women will have heartache and do stupid ish over men and for men for eternity. There will always be a pack of back-biting, shady women who hang together, yet refuse to split, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t try to make improvements. These things we’re seeing unfold on the small screen happen every day and even to some of us. Maybe that’s why we sit on our sofas and cringe with every scene because the truth hurts. We should be setting examples for other women–for our girls. It all comes down to being willing to make sacrifices and changes for our own happiness.
We’ve just got to do better.
Note: VH1 and Shauni O’Neal deserve a separate post all to themselves, but they wouldn’t have an audience if we didn’t watch, right?
Photos taken from Vh1.com