Everyone is getting ready for “their year” again in hopes of all things new from bodies, to thoughts processes, relationships, financial matters and so on . We go on and on about our resolutions and about what we will don’t. Let’s talk about what we shouldn’t do. For the glorious year of 2012, THOU SHALT NOT:
1. Obsess over the fate, mental and emotional capacity of single black women. If I see one more headline about single black women and why we can’t get a man, how we need to date white men to get even, when need to have babies and how we can keep from slitting our wrists from depression, I will scream. In the words of the great Jadakiss, “We gon’ make it.”
2. Monitor celebrities’ uteri and such. Ya’ll keep salivating and foaming at the mouth over Bey drops that load if ya’ll want to, hear? I hope the baby is healthy,but unless the Carters are putting in on this Sallie Mae, I couldn’t find another care to give.
3. Come up with another reality television show, spin-offs included. My mind just can’t take anymore. I should really read (write) a book.
4. Take self-portraits if your room or house isn’t clean. The set is just as important as the “model.”
5. Stop putting ALL your personal business, whereabouts and feelings on the INTERNETS. Trust me, just because we can relate doesn’t mean we care.
6. Complain about things in your life you don’t like, but continue to sit on your azz. No explanation needed.
7. Post your body parts and such on Twitter. Clearly, you don’t want a job. “The streets is watching.”
8. Duck and dodge Sallie Mae. (Who said that, me?!) She gotta respect my mind first though.
9. Cut the damn fool over sneakers, even if they are the Holy Grail of shoes, Jordans. Not that it was ever acceptable, but that was sooooo 1995. I guess we’re people of anticipation. Waiting to be the first ones to have everything is the trend, from iPads and phones to shoes. It’ll likely never stop as we (especially black folks) are driven by consumerism, but the violence has to.
10. Act as if life is one thing on social media sites, but it’s clearly another. Say, er, post what’s real. Someone knows the truth, even if it’s just you, and that’s enough.