The Chad and Ev Effect: The Double Standard of Violence

I usually don’t address issues like this, but I might as well…quickly.

Following this shocking and outrageous head-butting incident between newlyweds, Chad and Evelyn Johnson, TMZ released Evelyn’s statement today:

“I am deeply disappointed that Chad has failed to take responsibility for his actions and made false accusations against me … It is my sincere hope that he seeks the help he needs to overcome his troubles. Domestic violence is not okay and hopefully my taking a stand will help encourage other women to break their silence as well.”

This may wrinkle some feathers, but this is downright hypocritical.

First things, first: Domestic violence is wrong, no matter who throws the first blow. No one wants to be hit, pushed or handled in such a way that they feel frightened or threatened or physically injured, especially by someone who loves them. I’m not discounting Johnson’s feelings and allegedly experience. I can’t imagine what that feels like. No one, but them were there, so we don’t know what happened.

What matters is the double standard in violence. How crazy is it for a woman who has physically bullied women on camera to condemn the violence committed against her, yet condone and repeat the violence she committed against others?

The same goes for VH1. The network has pulled the couple’s upcoming reality show because of the incident, but when Evelyn was jumping on tables, throwing wine bottles across rooms at women on Basketball Wives, the cameras kept rolling to bring in ratings. Why are they so concerned about image and negative activity now? Violence is violence, right?

Let me be clear: This is not karma, but what’s in us will manifest in various parts of our lives. The dysfunction, the hurt, the unresolved issues and violence is likely come out in thought processes, actions, relationships and friendships. This is not so  much “an eye for an eye” situation as it is a neverending cycle that must be broken.

So while Chad Johnson may need to seek professional help, as Evelyn said in her statement, she needs to seek some, as well. If not, this will serve as yet another life event used to make herself and whoever she comes in contact with miserable.

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