I missed the mark on a lot of tangible things this year, but learned a lot.
It’s true that you will go through the same situations and/or obstacles until you learn the lesson you were meant to learn. Didn’t catch the lesson? You’ll find yourself in a similar thing eventually. I’m hearing some of the exact same feedback in my current job that I did in my very first job out of college 10 years ago. All along I’d thought it was the industry I was in, the people I worked with or the environment. And it was…but those weren’t the only factors. I forgot about the biggest one: me.
I want to write. Let’s just put that out there. That’s about the only thing –for now that gets me going. In my wildest dreams I’ll make a living writing and travel abroad and maybe do television interviews about my work even though I hate seeing myself on tv. I see myself slowing moving towards something like that, but I see that I’m the one in my way. Honestly, even writing this post was a push. Self-starting and following through are my goals for 2014 and beyond.
The next thing is working on this work-balance thing. I’m a worker for myself or someone else or several someone elses at even given time. Somewhere along the way, my life disappeared. I’ve gotta unplug sometimes to change that.
TI said it best and terribly when he asked in a song, “Is you happy?” A recent segment on Melissa Harris-Perry Show about happiness stuck with me. Experts, including Gretchen Rubin who wrote The Happiness Project, suggested your relationships with others (familial, romantic, friendships, organizations, etc.) dictate happiness. Then I read A Formula for Happiness in the New York Times, which says what you do for a living (doesn’t have to be your job, by the way), not those relationships, define our happiness. To add, Myliek Teele, founder of Curlbox, posted this graph on her Instagram page last week.
Food for thought. I imagine it’s a mix though that needs constant fine-tuning.
While I’m on that subject, less social media and more people. No mistake, social media has provided me with some of the best laughs (until I cried), inspiration for writing and intriguing conversations ever, but half of the time, it’s just noise and ignorance. I don’t need someone else’s thoughts clouding my mind constantly.
I’m not as idealistic or naïve as I used to be. I can look at things and people with a more compartmentalized perspective and be reasonable. I won’t wake up and slide down a rainbow and throw star-dust every day. Things won’t go my way all of the time. I will have to do things I don’t want to do. Or maybe I can’t do things I want to do. T’is life.
It’s okay to ask for what you want. That’s the hardest thing for many to do for fear of rejection. You’d be surprised how your requests are granted or how that block will bless you.
It’s okay to look out for you. It’s not selfish and it’s not something to feel guilty about. Worry about you because everyone else is too busy taking care of themselves, too.
I’m dealing with change better, but it’s not easy. I’ve never liked MAJOR change. People who were in your life go away. They perish. Magazines you loved fold. Your favorite television show is canceled. They discontinue your favorite perfume or lipstick. The point is it happens and you have to push through and adjust.
I won’t be satisfied with my life every day, but I will be thankful. And that’s what’s gotten me this far. Still have a ways to go.
All that said, here’s a snapshot of my year.
- The job. Navigating a still new job and bigger responsibilities.
- The increase. I needed it, but it was especially dear to me because it showed me the faithfulness of God.
- Becoming a published author of sorts thanks to friend and Cosmopolitan Cook, Ragan Oglesby.
- Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed–beautiful writing and a life changing book
- Finding the Next Issue app and becoming slightly obsessed with cooking (with limited skills)
- Interviewing It Girls like Marsha Ambrosius, Demetria Lucas and Teedra Moses.
- Making two trips to DC for my Sorority’s centennial and President Obama’s second inauguration
- Seeing Queen Bey in concert and seeing my intellectual crush, Melissa Harris-Perry live in New Orleans
- Bey’s surprise album. I’m addicted.
- Finding Myliek Teele’s podcasts and Instagram. Inspiration for days.
May God bless you in 2014.