I’m a Grown Woman #31WriteNow

Let’s talk about being grown. And being a woman.

So I’ve been wanting to write about this for awhile, but never got around to it. After swapping perspectives with a few girlfriends, I put it to bed because I didn’t know how to introduce it in writing form. Then came Beyonce.

I know, I know…Her. AGAIN.

She finally released the full version of “Grown Woman” yesterday after that tease snippet of a Pepsi commercial in March. Then, I didn’t like it. I thought, “Okay Bey, who are you talking to exactly and who cares?  You’re married and have been, a mother over 30.  And don’t forget a one-woman empire. We get it:you’re grown, boo. Next.” I took time to listen to the words after being transfixed on the African beat, and yes, Bey. Yes.

They love the way I walk
‘Cause I walk with a vengeance
And they listen to me when I talk
‘Cause I ain’t pretending
It took a while, now I understand
Just where I’m going
I know the world and I know who I am
‘Bout time I show it

I guess sometimes you gotta let the people know in case they forgot.

I still grapple with age occasionally and have said that I often don’t feel like an adult. Sometimes I do feel like a kid who just so happens to have a job and make my own living. Almost like it was something I fell into, though I know it had to be intentional whether I wanted it to be or not. Sometimes I “look” the part, then sometimes I don’t. Then there are more times when I feel like a woman, which is different than feeling like an adult. It’s not always when a teenager or kid has addressed me as “ma’am” (grrrr) , I get a second (or third) glance from a man or my mom telling me I’m “almost middle-aged ” that tells me either.

Sometimes it’s just a feeling. I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe when I’m getting dressed to go out or when I’ve nailed something at work. Or a quick glance in the mirror. Something just clicks. I imagine it’s different for every woman.

So my question is: What makes you feel like a GROWN WOMAN? Is it the ability to live on your own? Put it down in the bedroom? Motherhood? Taking care of a spouse or mater? Handling your affairs in a proper way, personal or professional? Body shape? Do tell!

Y’all know I wouldn’t let you leave without hearing the song, right?



Things I Learned from Beyonce’s Documentary

beyonce-life-is-but-a-dream-the-jasmine-brandLike almost everyone else, I watched Beyonce’s anticipated documentary, Life Is But a Dream this weekend. You’ll notice that I’m not even addressing the Oprah interview because well, it was a wash. Too much eye shifting and conversation cut-offs for me. As for the documentary, I’ll say up front that I don’t feel any “closer” to her as a fan. She didn’t spill the tea, as some of you would say, and I didn’t expect her to. Instead, she talked as openly as she chose to a camera on her laptop.

Remember the MTV show, Diary? It reminded me of an extended version of that: a glimpse into the life of your favorite star, produced and edited perfectly for public consumption. I knew that was going to happen, but seeing as how Mrs. Carter’s interviews have always left much to be desired, I guess we needed this to feel like she was letting us in on her world. Aside from having a million dollar endorsements, being married to a husband equally as successful as she and having the ability to look fresh-faced and dewy at all times of the day , she’s really just like us.

I did learn a few things though.

She calls Jay-Z, “Jay” like everyone else. In the recent years that she’s even began to refer to her long-term boyfriend, now husband by his name, she doesn’t call him by his government name. I just knew that she called him Shawn. Maybe because I always think of a lyric to his song, “Jigga” where he says, “All I gotta do is let ‘em call me Sean, they glad.”I don’t know her life though. For we know, he could be “Sean” or even “Bae.”

She names songs by the hook or most prominent line like everyone else—even her own. Let’s be real, black folks are notorious for this. We never know the official title for songs, just the lines we like, and we refer to them as such. We’re such special people. During one of her “confessionals,” she says she wants to listen to “Make Love to Me,” and make love to her husband. Wait. Did you mean “1+1,” Bey? Because that’s the real title. Cool.

She curses…like everyone else. For whatever reason, she used to blame her foul mouth on Sasha Fierce’s nautiness. She jokingly screamed out “Aww shiiit!” after a vocal flub in the studio, then during her live cover of “Resentment” took a bitter left turn as she ad libbed the lyrics with “…like that wack bitch could!” Hurt much?

But lest we forget these classes curses from “Diva” and “Ego” on her 2008 I Am. Sasha Fierce album respectively. “How you gon’ be talkin’ shit? You act like I just got up in it” and “Ego so big, you must admit. I got every reason to feel like I’m that bitch.”

It’s okay, Bey. Shit happens.

She really is dangerously in love. Look, we all knew that, but the footage from Jay’s birthday dinner sealed everything

She still uses sponge rollers. Talk about revealing secrets! That’s what I’m talmbout, Bey! When I saw she had that hair tightly coiled on the pink sponge rollers, I thanked God I was born in the 80s. That’s how she looked so fresh and vibrant in those Blue Ivy welcome pictures. I’m not even mad. Not even.

Everyone has a right to privacy. She really didn’t have to tell the world she had a miscarriage, you know. As the Internet Age rolls on, we’re made to believe that we have a right to know everything going on in someone else’s life. She agrees, saying we’re “brainwashed.” Yes, for some, there’s always been an obsession to get to know celebrities beyond whatever it is they do. What’s their favorite song? What makes them cry or what’s their greatest fear?

Briefly, I was annoyed because she didn’t share much, but why does she have to? As a fan, I’m only entitled to good music and what she leaves on the stage, and even that is on her terms. People don’t owe us anything.

I loved her awareness and thankfulness to God. No, I won’t appease and say a “higher power.” I’ve always thought that people who are wildly successful—the Beyonces, Micheal Jacksons and Oprahs of the world (and there aren’t that many) know their lives are such because of God. What else is there? My favorite quote from her has to be during the nature footage when she says, “Thanks be to Jesus.” Indeed, Bey. I’m sure she brought many Behyhive souls to Christ with that one. LOL

I’ve got to get to that tour. Nah, I don’t have tickets, but it’s not for a lack of trying. I don’t want to know her life, when she makes love to her husband or how she puts an awesome light show together for a performance, I just need that music and the energy. The performance footage got me sooooo hype! I can’t wait to shake a tail feather with her. It WILL happen.

Clutch Magazine: Beyonce Never Has on Clothes When She Performs…So What?


Check me out on Clutch today where I discuss people having their panties in a bunch over Bey’s Super Bowl costume.

Call me surface level, but I’ve never once given Bey’s attire a second thought. Perhaps, like so many others, she sprinkled her Creole dust on me, making me desensitized to the lack of fabric on her body as she sashayed across the stage. She’s been popping her parts in leotards, ice skater skirts, and glittered mesh for over 10 years, so it’s not a big deal to me.

Read more here

Kimmy K. Gets No Love…Again…But Why?

In case you missed it, Kim Kardashian is one of the worst people on the planet. Or atleast that’s what’d you think if you read any blog, tweet, entertainment news headline or listen to any beauty shop/barber shop debate about her. Outside of her incredible fashion sense and style, she’s a gold-digging, talentless slut. That is what they say, isn’t it?

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but lay off Kim for a minute. As of late, the poor girl can’t catch a break, even though some of those missed breaks she (or alledgedly her mama, Kris Jenner) orchestrated herself. In the last week, many an essay have been published complaining about Oprah’s Next Chapter interview with Kim and the rest of the Kardashian clan. Why would Oprah Almighty give those people an hour of airtime? For what? As if we don’t see them enough, right?

Yeah, judge me all you want, but I was front and center to check the interview out. I’m not a Kardashian stan by any means. I would drop dead before I pay more than $15 for anything from their clothing line in Sears, of all places, listening to Kourt and Kim’s voices is worse than watching paint dry and no, I do NOT approve of Kim’s relationship with Kanye (I refuse to believe that they are anything more than friends in fashion). BUT there is this unwavering curiosity about just how they came to be who they are.

Let Auntie O cook. She’s just as interested as we are about enigma of a family. If anyone can pull information out of people, it’s her, and she knows what people want to see and what they want to know. Many tuned in because they love the Kardashians and others because they hate them. It’s crazy how we insist on enduring what we dislike the most. It’s similar to making a breakup song playlist, and putting it on repeat, knowing you’ll cry by Track 2.

Pictures were recently released of Kim and Beyonce having the time of their lives at a Watch the Throne concert in Birmingham. The Beyhive is not happy that the Bedazzled One is hanging out with Killa K. Little Miss Perfect should not associate herself with the likes of a sextape-making whoremonger. Weren’t Kelly, Michelle and ‘nem good enough?

First, Kim doesn’t deserve happiness, a husband who doesn’t sound like a dufus robot (sorry Kris, but it’s true) or a family. Now, people are denying her a close girlfriend, especially if it’s King Bey. Excuse me as I throw rose petals I picked with my bare hands on the ground.
There are three reasons why Bey befriending Kim won’t hurt a bit.

1. You, err, we fans aren’t going anywhere. If Lil Wayne can wear jeans as tight as leotards and Usher can keep that dreadful Mohawk and still maintain a healthy fan base, Bey can kick it with Kim. As long as they don’t record a duet, I’m good.

2. In a circle of girlfriends, each woman plays her role. There’s the good girl, the responsible girl, the party girl, the drunken girl (could be the party girl also)…and the hoe. She can be slick or overt or may not even realize she’s exhibiting such behavior. Now, I’m not saying Kim is a hoe. In fact, she’s been in relationships with guys (or something like it?), and no one really knows who she’s slept with. Who cares? Whatever it is, it’s no different from what many other “regular” women do, it’s just done on a larger scale and in front of cameras. It’s obvious that Kim is desperately seeking love. If you have a circle of friends, you know that each plays her role independently with no interference from the others.

3. Friends can influence each other for the better. Who knows? Maybe Bey’s Golden Girl ways will rub off on Kim? Do they really need to though? In a really insecure-y way, she seems comfortable in her own skin. Let her be.

*Pic taken from Necolebitchie.com

Beyonce’ and the Smarty-Art Syndrome: It’s Not That Deep

I haven’t written in over a week, mainly because there’s nothing I care to share my thoughts on, and unlike those who’ve taken the bravest step to freelance, published stories aren’t my bread and butter. I’ve been on mute until I  saw commentary on Beyoncé’s new promo photo for her new single, “Best I Never Had” yesterday.

Upon first glance of the picture I thought simple thoughts like, Go Bey! That’s different. Love the whole lipstick writing on the mirror concept. That never gets old.  NecoleBitchie.com later posted “Beyonce is Calling Herself a “King.” What’s the Problem?” Apparently, people have taken issue with Mrs. Knowles-Carter. Why does there have to be a problem? Maybe this is another alter ego she’s yet to let out of the closet. Let the girl do her thing. She’s promoting an album, for God’s sake!

People, stop with this Smarty Art Syndrome. (Please, tell me you’re familiar with my reference to Chris Rock’s Bring the Pain stand-up.) Maybe I’m not using my intelligence to its fullest capacity, but why are we making Beyoncé’s comeback so deep, let alone a promotion photo? First, it’s questioning if she’s now a feminist because she release “Run the World (Girls),” now we’re on to discussing gender roles because she wrote “King B” in Wet ‘N Wild Bubblegum Pink on a mirror? Use that brain power to work a math problem.

As far as her allegiance to women’s issues , she co-wrote “Independent Women” (throw your hands up at me) and gives us ladies the best divalicious and men-bashing anthems ever. Maybe she is a feminist, but so what? Above all things and issues you may think she stands for, what Beyoncé is a marketing genius. She and her team know just what to do to keep the stans continuously uterus-riding.

A friend pointed out that it’s all about reinvention. In just eight years as a solo artist, she’s dropped from ceilings, done the Josephine Baker fandango dance, made wearing leotards and J-setting fashionable again, created an alter ego and shitted on cheating men with just six words (“To the left, to the left”) all for the sake of giving Beylievers what they want: empowerment, bomb live performances and a certified club banger. This go-round with “4” will be no exception. You thought the “Girls” video was wack or lackluster, she gave you a killer performance on the Billboard Awards. You said she couldn’t sing, a video of her performance rehearsal was released. The girl just knows what to do. Am I saying that she really doesn’t think girls run the world or that she lacks substance? No, not at all. I’m #teamBey all day.

I’m simply asking these over-thinkers and Smarty-Arts to give it a rest. Why are you pondering shenanigans when Bey hits the scene? When you blast Bey’s music you should be doing one of two things: nursing a break-up, feeling yourself or p-popping with the best of ’em. Why? Cuz Bey taught you.

Now shut up and DANCE!!