Why This Black Girl Isn’t Offended by “Sh*t Black Girls Say”

Last week was a week for the books in 2011 for me. I wasn’t feeling like myself and secretly wished someone would give me a cape so I could jump of my second floor window of my office. If I could snap my fingers, I’d be anywhere but at work doing mail-outs, but my #1 wish was to be in my bed. Alas, none of that happened, and I had to grin and bear it through the day. I logged onto to Clutch and clicked on the video for “Sh*t Black Girls Say,” a spin-off of “Sh*t Girls Say,” (which I hadn’t seen yet, but it’s funny, too.). I. DIED.

I sat at my desk shaking trying to hold back the tears of laughter.  I immediately forwarded it to my girls, and we sent back our favorite questions and catch phrases that we thought Billy Sorrells (the actor) should add for the next episode because there HAS to be another episode. The shit was FUNNY.

Apparently, not everyone has our sense of humor though (you don’t know what you’re missing). After a few days and over a million viewer hits, I began to see posts suggesting the video was offensive. Come on, people. Really? To whom? Last time I checked, I’m a “black girl,” and while I don’t rock weave or wear shades with the connecting chain (I do know someone who has them though.), I’ve said quite a few of those phrases. “Delete, delete, delete”  and “It’s hot in here!” being my favorites. Am I suggesting that every black girl is the same, has the same conversations with her girlfriends and significant others? Nope. We’re all different as a result of our upbringings and experiences. Somewhere, there’s a black girl who doesn’t “get it” at all. Nothing wrong with that, but that doesn’t mean it’s offensive.

Do I need to get on these “Neo-blacks” again? Why is it okay for us to laugh at “Sh*t Everyone Else in the World Says,” but not ourselves? No, it’s not a 100 percent representation of us, but are any of the others? It’s fun and it’s lighthearted so why are we soooo uptight? An important lesson to learn is just because it’s not YOUR reality doesn’t mean it isn’t someone else’s. Where were you when John Singleton released Baby Boy, two hours filled with baby mamas, bootlegging, profanity and violence? Talk about someone who couldn’t relate. I watched the movie for the first time my jaw dropped pretty much the entire time. Now, it’s one of my favorites. It’s not offensive to me because someone lives that life, and who am I to judge? Where were you when In Living Color was the most viewed comedy sketch on network television? The cast made fun of everyone. People were offended then, but if you can watch “Men on Film,” you can definitely watch “Sh*t Black Girls Say.”

There’s truth in humor. That’s what makes it so funny. Is that what you’re afraid of?

Next, Benita Miller, founder of The Brooklyn Young Mothers’ Collective, was quoted in the Huffington Post’s story, “Sh*t Black Girls Say” Video Goes Viral, But Offends Some Black Women”  as saying  to the Daily News,”While those images are funny to those of us who are well-educated, some young people don’t know how to filter the message”

No offense, Ms. Miller, but of all messages for our young girls to filter, you think this one is target worthy? How about some of Nicki Minaj’s videos, these provocative series about sex and drugs on MTV or any of the countless reality television shows that are shown every half hour (hello Erica Mena and Kimbella). Parents and “the village” should talk to girls about whatever they deem acceptable or not. Point blank, period.

So, in closing, much success to Billy Sorrells and the writer, Lena Waithe (a black woman *gasp*) for making millions us of laugh.  For those who are clutching their pearls over this hilarious video, I’ll leave you with some sh*t this black girl says:  Girl, bye!


My Girlfriends….(You know the rest)

A few days ago, I received an email from Essence Magazine declaring today, April 13, as National Girlfriends Appreciation Day. Ironically, today is my 8th Deltaversary and so many of my linesisters have become true friends to me (Hey girls!). I won’t write a book, but I will say a little something about my girlfriends. After 30 years, I realize how important women friends are. They are priceless, if they’re real friends. I’m always leery of women who say they only hang around guys because women can’t be trusted. There’s something wrong with that picture. I pity any woman who doesn’t have atleast one girlfriend she can talk to.

In the past six months, my grandmother passed away, I was diagnosed with fibroids (again), realized I might hate my job, had major surgery and thought I was going to spend my 30th birthday (partly) alone. Thanks to my friends here, near and far, all of those life events were made better. There’s nothing like those girls. From washing my hair when I couldn’t move after surgery to giving me my favorite candy as a small birthday gift to traveling from DC and New Orleans for a funeral and party or just calling to check on me during a hard work day, I couldn’t ask for more giving people in my life. They are more than my girlfriends, they are my sisters. All of them.

In a group of friends, every woman plays her part. There’s the funny one who provides comic relief in not-so-funny situations; the counselor who gives sound advice; the cut to the chase friend who you never want to go to because she will unleash the dragon, but it’s all done in love; the wild one who teaches you let go and live; the sensible one who balances the craziness out (“You want to do what?”) and so on. Friends can be so many things to you that you didn’t even know you needed or wanted to be bothered with. Most of all, they are a mirror of different pieces of you, even those you may not always see.

It doesn’t matter if you have that one best friend who’s been there since you were five years old or a group of girlfriends, you don’t have to talk to or see them every day. Real friends can pick up where they left off and never doubt that the love is still there. So, even though we get high off the drama between women and so-called friends on reality shows, and perhaps, we’ve been burned by those who posed as, I hope we all recognize what real friendship is. Lord knows, I thank Him for mine.

Whether you’re dishing gossip on the phone, going shopping or toasting to the douche bags and assholes, while you’re at it, toast to yourselves and each other. Happy National Girlfriends Appreciation Day!

*I so wanted to feature of picture of my girls, but I don’t have one picture with all them. No, it’s that many!

Empire State of Mind

“Sometimes you just have to get away with the girls.” ~Carrie Bradshaw

Lately, I’ve been posting about random stuff: current events, my opinions, my writing career (something you might not give a damn about, but I hope you do!), etc. Now it’s time to show my true colors. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t post this. Without further ado….the trailer for Sex and the City 2.

It hits theaters May 28, 2010. I’m so there. I saw the first one with my Mama (yes, we hang like that.). It was great. I laughed and cried, as if I was watching my very own life unfold on the silver screen (I know you get chills when Charlotte screams on Big in the middle of the street). It was a feel-good movie for us emotional creatures called women, even though I heard men rave over it, too. (I remember my apartment being packed with more guys than women for the last episode on HBO in 2004.) Sex and the City comes on atleast four times a week and every time, I’m sucked into it. Laughing and crying at the exact same parts. I’m such a sap.

This time, I want to go all out for it. Get dressed up for it, have drinks, make it an event, instead of a matinee Saturday outing. While I wish I could do the same for a Girlfriends: The Movie, I can’t. I’ll make due–fabulously.