Teedra Talks New Music, Relationships and Moving On, Pt. II

Teedra-Moses-Luv-Rocket-e1361828026963Check out the second half of my interview with Teedra Moses! Read Part I here.

Possibly what Teedra Moses’ fans love most about her music are her relatable song lyrics. There’s atleast one song in her catalog that you’d swear she penned just for you, but she wasn’t really inside of your heads when she wrote it. Her first inspiration is her own life.

“When I write, I don’t set out to say every woman will be able to relate to this. but I just write what I feel in my heart.”

She describes her latest single, “Cant Be Luv” as a personal experience. “It’s really about contemplation of if I’m gonna give up the cookie or not,” she says. “I don’t know about other women– if they have that experience, you know? I do. I don’t just my cookies up to people like that. It’s a major contemplation in my mind should I even do this.”

It’s a real thing in her life even now. Moses is currently in a period of celibacy. “I don’t choose to give up my cookies to people, not because I made a conscious decision that I wouldn’t have sex, it’s just that I’m not attracted to anybody in that way to do so, and then I have to question…well, what is it? Why is it that I’m not sexually active?”

That’s the rawness you’ll find in her music.

“That’s our responsibility. Spread a little happiness to other people, and find as much as we can for ourselves.”

Admitting that she hardly listens to R&B music, she keeps her pen and musical ear close to her heart, rather than to the streets. “Whatever the track gives, I give it back. I don’t listen to one kind of music. I don’t listen to one kind of artist. I just give to the music whatever it is at the time.”

There are more heartfelt tracks on her upcoming album, Empress Pride Collection like “People Chaos,” which describes her relationship with the greatest love of her life, and father of her twin sons. She sings about loving who you’re with, but knowing you aren’t right for each other. “No Regrets,” laced with live instrumentation, tells the story of her life having her sons at a young age.

“I’m speaking on having kids young, falling in love really young and how I don’t regret it, even though it changed the course of how I thought I life would go,” she says. “Even though my life isn’t what I thought it would be at 15, I’m so happy with it. I thought I would be married with the picket fence and whatever, but I’m okay without that.”

Teedra will be showering her fans with her love through her newest music later this month at Singersroom’s Rhythm Effect Series at SOB’s in New York City. Expect a funky, but sexy live show with something for everyone.

She sings about love, but her message to her fans is about life. “My ultimate message is always to live your life—to the fullest. Life is too short to spend any second of it giving up your time, your effort, your love and your passion to shit that doesn’t matter to you.

I think life is about finding your purpose and obtaining purpose and fulfilling your purpose. I try to push that message always because that’s what I’m always trying to do.”

Keep up with Teedra at www.teedramoses.net or follow her on Twitter.

Teedra Moses Talks New Album, Relationships and Moving On, Part I

teedra mosesIf you know me, you know I’m the founder and president of the Teedra Moses fan club (atleast in my head) Check out my two-part interview with her where she discusses her new music, her inspiration for songwriting and what her message to fans is this time around. Part II will be posted next week!

Singer/songwriter Teedra Moses had recently finished wrapping up a video shoot for her new single, Cant’ Be Luv,” recently released on Black Moses Music when she hops on the phone to talk about what’s in store for her and her fans. That’s right, The Lioness will drop her long-awaited album, Empress Pride Collection, on June 25. It’s her first major project since her debut album, Complex Simplicity in 2004.

Like always, it was like talking to an old friend.

Moses is known for bringing sexy love anthems like “Be Your Girl” and “Kisses Never Taste So Sweet,” but this time around, her inspiration comes from a different place. “I’m feeling very strong and empowered, but also wanting and feeling the need for the comfort of a man,” she says.

So, be prepared for a new vibe on this project, which features seven to 10 tracks, as she tackles where she is in her womanhood and music career. “I’m not 25 anymore, you know what I mean, so I’m not writing as a 25-year-old young woman. I’m writing as a grown ass woman in my 30s. I just make records, that’s who I am.”

Moses has been in the trenches working as an independent artist, gaining fans by releasing mixtapes like the Young Hustla Compilation series and giving live performances throughout the country. In 2011, the world waited for more music from Moses after it was reported on Twitter that she’d signed to Maybach Music Group, but Moses says no contracts were signed. She’s definitely affiliated with the platinum hip-hop label, lending her sultry voice to a list of MMG hits like “Self Made” and “Amsterdam.”

“I’m not 25 anymore, you know what I mean, so I’m not writing as a 25-year-old young woman. I’m writing as a grown ass woman in my 30s.”

“We were in talks of it, and it just never came about,” Moses says. “We definitely respect each other’s talent and if they need me to sing on anything, I’ll sing. If I need to reach out to them, I’m sure they’ll do the same for me.”

Two years later and countless live shows in, it was a stint in the UK that pushed the former fashion stylist to release new music. She performed mostly in London, where her fan base is just as large as it is in the States. “It all kind of helped me to get myself to this place where like, yo, I gotta put out music. I can’t keep waiting for people that say that want to support the project to do that. I have to just do that myself.”

She’s a self-starter, for sure. To keep her sound fresh, but consistent, she’s been working with other musicians and artists who fly below the radar. “I connect a lot with underground producers, up and coming producers for a different sound than what’s is already in the marketplace,” she says. “That’s kind of what the album is full of. It’s very musical, but at the same time, it’s got that modern sound to it, as well. I’m really excited about it.”

Yes, there’s a U.S. tour in the works, too, beginning in July. Teedra won’t be the headliner though. “Instead of me going out by myself, I would prefer to go out with someone with a bigger fan base,” she says. “I just try to build my movement and expand it as much as possible. I’ve been so blessed to carry so many people with me from the beginning and then gain people along the way.”

Bottom line: It’s Teedra’s time to shine. “Witness what I’m doing and if they like it, they can get down with it; if they don’t, they can pass on it, but I just feel like I want to give people the opportunity to see it.”

We know it’ll be worth the wait.

Check back next week for Part II of Teedra’s interview. 

The Stories of People: The Juggling Act

Read Part I

Read Part II

 

“I need to talk to you.”

Damn. This can’t be good. The last thing a man wants to hear from a woman are those words. That means I did something wrong, according to her anyway.

“About what, babe? I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“I’m sure, but there are some things that I need to say, and you’re not going to like them.”

Shit. I sat up in my office chair. “I’m listening…”

“You haven’t been putting me first for quite some time now, and…”

“—Babe, you know I’ve been under a lot of stress with work. It’s just been crazy with these projects and this new client. I know no one understands that better than you.”

“That’s no excuse, Marcus,” her voice elevated slightly. “I haven’t seen you one-on-one in two weeks, and contrary to what you believe, these business lunches we’ve have don’t count.”

“We can see each other. That’s not a problem.

“That’s not it. You’re failing to see the big picture…I need something more—from you.”

Aw, hell. “I think you need to calm down. You know my situation.”

“I’m well aware, and it hasn’t been beneficial to me yet.”

The fuck? Hasn’t been beneficial?? Time to redirect this conversation.

“I think we can both list the benefits, but I’m not going to discuss it right now. I have a three o’clock. I gotta go.”

I hung up the phone before she could give a comeback. I lied. There’s no meeting at three, but I had to end that conversation. What’s her deal? She never acts like this. She’s not the needy woman. She’s Caitlyn. Always together, always poised, and most important, emotionally stable.  She usually rolls with the punches and acts accordingly.

The truth is I probably should commit to Caitlyn, but in all of this time I’ve never expected things to go as far with us as they have. I love her, but I also love Ava. Ava is everything I’ve always wanted. She’s free and sexy and pushes ahead in life to do whatever she wants in life, even if it doesn’t work.  Since we’ve been together, I think I’ve added some structure to her life. She deserves some stability, and I know I can provide that for her.

Caitlyn is established and for a woman, powerful. We make the perfect match, but could she really take care of me like Ava does? I haven’t seen that side of her yet. The only time she expresses herself is in the bedroom or the car or the kitchen or wherever we decide to do it. It’s there that her mask is taken off and I see who she really is. Who she wants to be, but is afraid to be.

The two of them make the perfect woman for me. Letting one of them go equals a loss for me, and I can’t risk that. Ava will probably always love me. Look at the life I’ve provided for her. But Caitlyn. She can’t not love me. I won’t allow it.

Something must have happened, and I’ve got to figure out what. Every now and then she’ll get a little crazy, but it’s not often. We both know even though I can’t give her everything she needs, what she gets is sufficient, more than enough, even. She ain’t going nowhere. Still, I

I leaned back in my chair until it nearly reclined, and closed my eyes.

Wesley, my colleague, rushed in my office. “Hey, Marcus, you got a minute?”

“Wes, on my way out to a meeting in a few. Whatcha got?”

“Oh, you didn’t forget, did you?”

I raised my brows as I packed my briefcase. “

The group of interns started today, and you’re the end of their orientation. I’ll bring them in and just say hello. You know, maybe that spill you do about working you way up from the bottom, yadda yadda.”

The last thing I want to do is talk to a group of eager beaver interns. Out of five, only one will be hired, and after one year, they’ll wish they had stayed in undergrad an extra year or become a professional student. This life ain’t for everybody. I know. I was one of those interns.

I lucked up on an internship at Google when I was 21 before they became the powerhouse they are today. Now, you need atleast three people’s brain to pass the interview phase, but then, all I had a recommendation from an older frat brother. It was a long road considering some other issues I was dealing with at the time, but that’s another story.

Wes opened my door, and a group of college students rapidly crowded my desk. I scanned the group, and did a double-take. A girl, no a woman, stood there with a knockout smile. Who was she? She looked much older than even a senior in college. Not as thirsty as the others. She was appropriately dressed in the usual drab attire we wear around here, but her skirt was tighter than other women’s around here and her top was a bright color. Don’t ask me what. Green or something? She had a little style to her. It looked like she had a weave, but I don’t give a shit, as long as it’s kept nice.

I gave my speech as Wes requested, and I could tell that Sexy Young Intern was checking me out.

“Any questions for me? This will be an unforgettable experience if you all allow it to be. I’ve been where you are, so I know that you’ll have questions. Please, ask them.”

Sexy Young Intern raised her hand. “What are the chances of us being hired when the internship is completed?”

I smiled to myself and to her. “Cut to chase, right?” The group laughed.

“Well, my best advice is to let your work speak for itself. Treat these three months like that golden opportunity it is. We’re always looking for bright, fresh talent, so basically, the chances all depend on you.”

Wes stood by and gave me a puzzled look. “That’s about all the time we have, folks. We’ve gotta get you guys to the human capital department…Marcus, thanks again.”

The others filed out like kindergarteners out the office, but Sexy Young Intern made sure she was the last to leave my office. She turned, “Thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Kingsley. I—we won’t be a disappointment….”Would you like your door opened or closed?”

She pivoted on her high heels and I saw the curve of her ass. Shit, I got sidetracked. “Uhhh, you can close it. Thank you.”

Before she got away, I had to say something else. “Tell me your name again.”

“It’s Kendall. Kendall Shaw.”

“Welcome to Wilks & Brooks Technology, Ms. Shaw.”

“Thank you so much, and you’re very welcome.” She gave me one last glance before she pulled the door up. I’d instantly been given a new work assignment.

Because I Said So: The Cosmopolitan Cook: The Single Girl’s Guide to Cooking

raganIf you know me, you know that once upon a time, I dreaded cooking (still do, kind of). These days, I’m much better, but I’m always looking for great recipes that don’t take a lot of time in the kitchen. I’m on Pinterest, talking to coworkers and friends and venting to Ragan Oglesby, the chef and author of The Cosmopolitan Cook: The Single Girl’s Guide to Cooking. Along with being a mom to her two, she’s a chef with her own cooking show and profitable catering business. Her book was released and features delicious recipes perfect for a Girl’s Night In, cocktail hour or a morning after with your boo. There’s food for every occasion in this one! Ragan leaves no stone unturned.

I had the privilege of writing the foreword for the book, so make sure you check her out. Thank me later. :)

What Is An Apology Really Worth?

A lot of people were sorry last week. Rick Ross, who has been under fire for “rape-y” lyrics, finally issued an apology via Twitter to fans, feminists and people who didn’t care either way. His apology: I don’t condone rape. Apologies for the #lyric interpreted as rape.  #BOSS

Whoopdy-doo.  Talk about a piss poor apology. It seemed that folks were most annoyed by the apology itself than what it was actually for. I am one of those people.

When someone offends or wrongs us, though we may wish they could take it back, we have to put on our grown folks clothes and acknowledge that they can’t. All you have to offer is your regret and sorry’s, so it just can’t be sub par. To me, that tweet meant absolutely nothing. He still holds to the idea that the lyrics didn’t spell out rape. WE interpreted them as such. To that I say, look up “rape” in the dictionary or talk to a victim then refer to your lyrics. But that’s another story for another day.

These days, what is an apology, really? Every time someone does something to bring them shame or cause outrage, they’re immediately MADE to spit out some sensational apology (hey Tiger!), as if that makes them a better person, if an apology is even needed at all.

It seems like everyone is saying they’re sorry for what they really meant to do or say. I’m sorry I had an extramarital affair. I’m sorry I made a racist remark. I’m sorry I wrote and recorded lyrics that implied rape. I’m sorry I said a beautiful woman is attractive. I didn’t really mean it. Blah, blah, blah.

Another thing to consider is why these apologies are given. Is it because the person who has been allegedly wronged the one requesting it or everyone else? Last week, a White House press secretary informed the press that President Obama privately apologized to Attorney General Kamala Harris for saying she is the “best-looking attorney general in the country.” I didn’t think his comments were out of line. The appointment makes it clear that the President respects her accomplishments and intellect, as he stated before his controversial comment. Who made that apology necessary? Harris or us?

We’ve done this though. The continual need for apologies by the public and even on a personal note has become so great, when we hear them, they don’t mean as much anymore. They hold little to no weight most times, even if they do pacify us for a brief moment. Hear me: Apologies are needed. Sometimes they’re needed to just keep the peace, like in the President’s case. Also, demanding them can be a major teaching moment for both parties. People can really be unaware of how and why they treat people the way they do. I’m not talking about those folks. I’m addressing the others.

I’d much rather people don’t apologize for things they made a conscious choice to do or say, especially if they know they’ll repeat the behavior again. Saying those two words “I’m sorry” can make us feel so validated, like that person really cares about our feelings. That moment is awesome, and depending on how deep the wound is, it can be all life-changing and all we need to reconcile. What hurts more though, is when the afterglow of the apology wears off and that person repeats the offense. What happens then?

See, the thing about apologies is the only person who gives it really knows the intentions of their heart, which determines the validity of it, period. The person who receives the apology makes a personal choice to believe and accept or not. What really matters in the end is action.

Sometimes you get apologies, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes they’re sincere, other times they’re blatant lies. Either way, the ball is always in your court as to how to deal with it to move past the hurt.

 

 

Why You Didn’t Find Your Husband in College

When a story about in the New York Times was emailed to me, I realized that I’d heard the headline earlier on Good Morning America. Something like, “Princeton alum tells women to find their husbands in college.” I clicked on the link expecting to be blown away by1977  Princeton alum, Susan Patton’s archaic logic in written form to the women students of the Ivy League university. Surprisingly enough, it didn’t raise my blood pressure. Here’s an excerpt from her editorial:

“For most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be inextricably linked to the man you marry, and you will never again have this concentration of men who are worthy of you.

Here’s what nobody is telling you: Find a husband on campus before you graduate. Yes, I went there.

Of course, once you graduate, you will meet men who are your intellectual equal — just not that many of them. And, you could choose to marry a man who has other things to recommend him besides a soaring intellect. But ultimately, it will frustrate you to be with a man who just isn’t as smart as you.

If I had daughters, this is what I would be telling them.”

Yes, Ms. Patton, you surely did go there!

Take out the idea that this concept is only applicable to Ivy League women, and I’d say in some places, Ms. Patton was spot on. Here’s what I agree with partly: college is the last place you’ll be surrounded by a large pool of men (I won’t even address the intellect component). I should preface this: I’m speaking as someone who graduated from a HBCU 10 years ago this year. *cries silently in the dark* The further away you become from college age, the more difficult it is to meet mates or even friends, for that matter. In college, it’s basically effortless. Don’t give me that “you just have to put yourself out there” crap either. Eventually, clubbing and “going out” becomes exhausting, especially when you have a demanding job and/or family and other responsibilities. You make time for it, but clearly, not enough if you aren’t already burned out from partying so in college.

To blot that, you get involved in community organizations, fraternal and other niche groups where like minds are. Chances are, you still won’t be around as many men as you were in college who aren’t already married or in serious relationships. It’s not impossible by any means, but it is harder. For those reasons, get while the getting is “good” during your college years.

That brings me to what I don’t agree with. First, let’s be clear that men enrolled in colleges don’t equate to men who will be good husbands. And just because he’s as smart or as smart as you doesn’t mean he is or wants to be a husband at all, even if he is an almighty Princeton man. So there’s that.

Next, this statement about the cornerstone of our future and happiness being “inextricably” linked to the men we will marry….I get what she’s saying. She’s coming from a place of wisdom as it relates to her own experiences, and if you read the entire letter, you’ll see that she was chastised by her classmates for wanting to become a wife and have children immediately after college, instead of entering the workforce. That was a choice she made.

Yes, women inherit a lot from their husbands, good and bad reputations, joy and pain, successes and money woes alike. It’s crucial that you select who complements you and adds, rather than subtracts from your life, but it’s not the late 70s when Ms. Patton graduated anymore. I’d argue that she isn’t as progressive as they were then, given the kick-in of the Feminist Movement in the 1960s. She seems to be your favorite Traditionalist’s traditionalist, suggesting that a woman’s worth and total happiness is dependent on her man, instead of herself. Both married and single women can and do create their own lives and happiness, it’s just our choice of whether or not we want to. For every woman who wants to work, be a mother there’s one who wants to marry well off, be a trophy wife and shop all day.

So, the real question is: are we worthless because we didn’t find our husbands in college? Did we miss the boat? Nah. Here are a few reasons why maybe that didn’t happen for some of us.

You didn’t know you were supposed to find your husband in college.

Chances are, instead of your mother giving you that piece of advice first, if at all, she told you “don’t get pregnant.” You may have had dreams of finding your DeWayne (Pookie) as you noticed couples who’d been together since sophomore year coming back for homecoming wearing wedding bands and pushing baby strollers. You blushed at the thought that that’d be you because it was nice concept, not because you were supposed to make that a goal. There’s a difference.

You were studying instead of dating for marriage.

Okay, maybe you dated a little bit, but graduating in the expected four years, instead of five or six, was higher on your priority list. You looked up one day, and you were no longer a freshman. It happens, but bettering yourself is never a bad thing.

He wasn’t ready.

You were, but he wasn’t. That pretty much ends things there. College prepares you for an array of things: the workforce, building relationships and even dealing with disappointment, but it has nothing to do with equipping you for commitment in a romantic or marital relationship. A degree doesn’t turn a man or a woman into someone is ready for the responsibilities that come along with marriage. For a man especially, it puts you on the path, maybe, but there are no guarantees.

You both needed time to grow and explore.

After two to five years of inhaling and exhaling each other you realized you needed a break. Are there other things you like to do? Are there other people you’d like to date or befriend?  Have you just been comfortable with that one person for so long that it just seems logical to marry him? At 22-24, you think you’re grown, but you’re really not. There’s still time to become who you really are.

It just wasn’t meant to be.

This one hurts, but sometimes the person you fall in love with in your EARLY 20s isn’t the one you will marry. Other times, he/she is. Sure, tons of people go against that feeling, then comes disaster or *clinks champagne flute* your DIVORCE!

My biggest gripe with Ms Patton isn’t that she suggests we pull from a pool of people who are worthy of us, but that marrying someone is an easy process and quick fix for women’s lives. College campuses are hubs for men of all kinds, but now, we outnumber them there, too. For those who met and married their husbands in college, God bless you. For others, it’s okay. We’re still smart, happy and enough.

EBONY MAG: 6 People to Avoid on Social Media

EBONY MAG: 6 People to Avoid on Social Media

“Selection in who becomes a part of your social media home is so important. It’s like picking someone for a team sport or work group. You’ll be stuck with these folks for a good little while, so let’s hope what they bring to the table is sufficient—and not horribly annoying.”

The Stories of People: Just Us, Part II

“Ava McLeigh?”

My body stiffened. Heart rate skyrocketed. Suddenly, a headache came on.

I knew that name anywhere.

I looked over to see her walking towards the nurse at the door. Her: the woman who, for six years, I wondered if she was real or some made-up figment of my imagination. He’d been keeping her identity from me since we met. His ability to successfully keep her under lock and key, yet have such a public relationship with her and me at the same time shows exactly the kind of man he is. He’d done it so well, sometimes I forgot she even existed.

One time, a few years ago during a heated argument he let her name slip out. Ava. I didn’t verbally note it then, but that name has been etched in my brain ever since. Marcus—oh, excuse me—Jonathan is one of the few people left on the planet who doesn’t engage in social media, though I encouraged him in the beginning for job opportunities and advancement. Ironically, his woman isn’t either. By chance, I found a piece of mail in the lap drawer of his computer desk with her name on it while I worked on a spreadsheet in his home office. That’s as close as I’ve gotten to her. They seem to live very separate lives despite their life together.

I’ve wondered what she looks like. If she looked like me. What kind of fun did they have together? Did they even have fun, or was he as miserable as he claims to be in his relationship when he’s with me?

After our first date, he’d told me that he admired me for having so much drive. I knew exactly what I wanted out of life, and had a plan in motion to get it. That was no surprise. I’ve been ambitious since my mother pushed me out of her womb. There is a strict way to achieve excellence, and my life reflects that. My home, car, wherever I am most is filled with books because learning is instrumental in the race to the top. My closet only consists of very basic colors because I don’t believe in standing out much. My hair is cut short so you can see my face, but I don’t cover it in pallets of colorful makeup like most women do these days. Sometimes, simple is best. Besides, I can prove myself without the burden of or the dependence on aesthetics. What matters most is the mind.

I may not act like many other women, but still, I am a woman. I watched Ava saunter through the threshold of the door until I could no longer see her shadow on the adjacent wall. Her hair was thick and curly, dark and shiny. Her body was tall and curvy in stature. A pretty face with tight eyes and what looked to be a tattoo on her wrist. I instantly wondered what it was like when they made love. Was he as gentle with her as he was with me, or was he aggressive and carnal? She seemed like she could bring that side of him out.

What was she here for? Is she pregnant? Doesn’t look to be.

Caitlyn, get a hold of yourself. What do you think she’s here for? She’s a woman just like you. It could be for a number of reasons.

Even if she is, I know Jonathan, and he has rigid rules on children. He refuses to be a father even though he was raised in a wonderful home by a loving family. If you want to be a part of his life, children cannot be a part of yours.

“Ms. McMain.” The receptionist was staring at me like I was an alien. Her calling my name wasn’t a question, but a demand as if to insist that I come back to Earth.

“Your appointment has been scheduled for next month, August 13. In the meantime, we’ll text you when we call your prescription in to the pharmacy.”

“Oh okay. Great.” I tried to mask my emotion by wrinkling my nose and shaking my head slightly.”Thanks so much. Have a great day!”

I rushed outside to get some fresh air. Inhale…exhale. The sun was scorching at about 90 degrees, but it was no match for the heat radiating from my heart.

There’s something about seeing someone with your own eyes that makes things so real. You realize that this bubble that you’ve created for yourself to blissfully dwell in—that you’ve decorated with the best and brightest colors– either can no longer exist or never existed in the first place. You’d been in that bubble alone, and now it’s time to come out with the rest of the world.

I jumped in my car and sat there for a moment or two. Instead of turning on my classical music, which helps me think, I picked up my cell and pressed the contact for Diana. I needed to get some thoughts out now.

She picked up on the fifth ring.

“I saw her,” I blurted out.

“….You saw who?” I could hear the cluelessness in her voice.

“Her. I don’t want to even say her name.” It was pointless though, seeing as how her name was a revolving door in my head.

“Ooooh, what her name? Ava?!”

Damn, that stung.

“I told you not to say it! But, yeah—”

“Well, I had to guess, Cait. Where? What does she look like?”

“Nothing like I imagined. Like a free, earthy Amazon.”

“Umph…That’s surprising. So, how do you feel?”

“Unnerved. Almost sick.”

“Okay, bring the dramatics down just a bit. You should definitely feel a way, but take a second to  figure out what that feeling is. It’s not like you haven’t known about her.”

Diana was always the voice of reason. She’s been against my dealings with Jonathan since the beginning, but because she’s my friend, she supports me. He’d always told me I wasn’t like other women, but the truth was, I was never different. She was.

“I know, but to see her was a wakeup call,” I sighed. “I don’t understand how a man can be with two totally different women. We’re nothing alike, D. NOTHING.”

“He’s a man. Why would he have two of the same kind of people? There’s no fun in that…So, besides her being “earthy” or whatever, what else stood out?”

“I can’t put it into words, but she seems so…less than. You know?”

“Uh, no. I’d say at this very moment, you two are quite the same. You both love a fucking fool.”

I see where this is going. “Not now, D.”

“I’m just saying. Think about it, and call me later…” She hung up before I could agree to end my vent session.

I looked across the parking lot where an ice cream shop was located to see a cute young couple walking hand-in-hand. The woman was smiling at him, clearly the aftermath of a joke they intimately shared. Jon and I could and would never do that. We’re only seen as colleagues in day hours. When the sky falls we’re secret lovers. I often wonder if we’re really the talented actors we think we are, or if everyone knows and is patiently waiting for the curtain to drop on our ridiculous production.

Get. It. Together. You can do better than this. You are better than this.

“I’m sick of this shit!” I screamed out and banged my leather covered steering wheel, not caring if anyone heard me through my window. I’m a top executive at a technology firm. No one questions my authority nor my intelligence. I’m known in elite circles around the metropolitan area and it’s idiotic for every part of my life to be in balance, except my personal life.

The fact is Jonathan has been a crutch for me. I’ve had no reason to deal with anyone else and their foolishness since he’s come into my life. Yes, everyone has their own version of crazy, but I’ve been content with his because I’m used to it. When I think about things we’ve experienced together, though, it angers me. I’ve shortchanged myself and my life for him and with him. It will hurt, but it all ends today.

I press MK for Marcus Kingsley on my iPhone ‘Favorites’ screen. Surprisingly, he picked up on the first ring.

“Hey babe,” he whispered. “Surprised to hear from you so early.”

“I need to talk to you.”

Here goes nothing.

Read Part I here