I said I wouldn’t do this after making fun of my friends who have already turned 30 or approaching, but I find myself doing it already. It seems like when they turned 29, every statement from that point on begins with “I”m damn near 30….” How ironic that I’ve been doing the same thing even though I just turned 29 in April. I have over six months left, but I’ll be damned if the time isn’t flying by. There are a lot of things I used to do with no reservation that I think are questionable as a I get older. I am constantly maturing and happy about it. Even the things I did at 25, I don’t find exciting anymore. Here’s a short list of things I’m now too old to do.
1. Start smoking weed. Lately I’ve been under a little stress. Not a monumental amount, but some nonetheless. A good friend who partakes in smoking regularly always tells me, “You should smoke somethin’. That’s what I do!” Right, but sense I’m not in high or college, I think it’s a little too late to start habits now (Unless I’m Montel Williams and smoke to reduce disease related pain.). I figure if I made it through four years Southern University and five years of Baton Rouge without even trying weed, there’s no need to start now. I’m not knocking folks who do, but I’ll still pass (no pun intended).
2. Get a tattoo. Yet, another rites of passage to “fake adulthood” (finally turning 18) that I passed on. It’s like an unwritten rule that the day a person turns 18, they immediately either get a tattoo, a piercing or sometimes both. The day all of my suitemates and friends in college took their trip to the tatoo shop together, I felt the least compelled to go. I still remember a co-worker at my job in high school getting tatted the day of his 18th birthday (just one day before mine). He kept running to the employee lounge to rub aloe vera on it. It looked disgusting. So, no thank you, over 10 years later, I’ll forgo getting a butterfly or rose on my back.
3. Shop at teenybopper stores regularly. Let me do a disclaimer first. Yes, I do shop occasionally at Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe. The idea is to grab different trendy pieces for quick outfits from these stores, not to build your entire wardrobe. At damn near 30, I need not wear a micro skirt that I know will unravel after one wash to work. It just won’t work. But a $7.99 tank top to an outdoor concert, etc.? That may work. At the very least, I shop for accessories and tanks. Everything in those stores is made for a teenagers whose height is no more than 5’6. But I do like their bags!
4. Stand in a long line to get into a club (especially a club I’ve already been to). Yes, I’m guilty. In college, I remember my friend almost killing all of us in her Toyota Corolla trying to make it to the club before 10:30. We were too broke to dish out $10-$20 for a weekly party that consisted of getting bitten on the butt by guys, having Omega Oil spilled on us and sweating our hair out. If our “connect” wasn’t at the door, free time it was. You’d swear we were in line to get into the Pearly Gates. I guess the bouncer was equivalent to St. Peter.
Honestly, this just happened this weekend. Driving or walking by a long line of people waiting to get into a club that’s not top-notch teaches something. When I was in my teens and late 20s, it wasn’t so bad. We’d just stand there laughing and clowning with each other or other regulars we knew. Now, it just looks damn near desperate. I cannot allow myself to go through that any longer. On the flip, I refuse to pay double or triple of anybody’s cover charge to wait in a supposed “express line.” Miss me with that. My desire to mill around a club, kiki with folks and be seen just isn’t there anymore. It’s called growth. Do I want to have fun? Yes. Just within limits.
I could add many more things to this list like not taking advantage of insurances and retirement plans, but I didn’t want to get too deep. It’s Hump Day! What do you think you’re too old to do?
Because I Said So 
I definitely agree. I don’t smoke nor did I get the “rights of passage” tattoo at 18. I did, however, get a few piercings that were due to being bored but the beauty of that is when the urge to have them passed, the hole closed up like nothing ever happened! I feel bad for folks sporting tats of cartoon characters into their 30s
As for the club, yeah… not so much. I’d rather have dinner, do a lounge, or stay in and watch HGTV. There’s nothing exciting about long lines, overpriced drinks or competing on the dance floor with 21yo’s trying to get chose for the night.
I’m still coming to terms that at 26 I shouldn’t have an entire wardrobe built around those little yellow bags lol…. but I just bought a BCBG power skirt so that’s a start. For now, Forever21 is my new spot to buy workout tops. Their $3.50 tanks are perfect for my workouts – – cheap, colorful and with a bit of stretch in them.
You cannot beat their tanks and tees. And surprisingly, they last. I’m still building my wardrobe with signature pieces. They’re worth the money.
This was so funny because I just turned 30 but even at 29 I was thinking the same things your topic is about. So you pretty much covered the basics. Indeed we are getting wiser.
Never got a tattoo, don’t smoke, and Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe are for cute casual tops and accessories. I’m too old to just by clothes off the rack and wear them without visiting my tailor first. I mean, I’ve always been rather conservative when it comes to my clothes anyway, even the party clothes, but now that I’m damn near 30, tailored to fit my body is so what’s up.
I’m also too old for loud nail polish, loud hair colors, loud clothes, shoes, etc!! At damn near 30, it’s time to make settle statements that not only turn heads once, but turns heads 4 and 5 times. Yes, it’s now about being a TKO and making it look effortless.
correction: “subtle” statements.
I knew I forgot something! The loud nail polish colors. I guess I’ve always been conservative in that regard. Just for kicks, I would love to do a bright yellow or one of those OPI Shrek colors, but I can’t bring myself to do it. Cute for the weekend, but I can’t walk into a board meeting with multi-colored nails.
Great! As I’ve just turned 29 on the 10th, I haven’t used the statement “damn near 30”, but I too have considered these things. I have one tatoo that I got @ 18, while in college, hit the blunt a few times, while in college and have stood in those ridiculously long club lines,go figure!
However since “I’m damn near 30”, I’ve had a different perspective, weed(no desire), no more tats(even though I’ve thought about it recently, maybe something small)(no judgment zone). I’ve set a weight lost goal so that I can shop and dress more conservative at stores like J Crew, Banana Republic etc.(Love their clothes and accessories) to build a wardrobe as my Mother has stressed for years. Not feeling the club scene as much either. Drinks, nice atmosphere, good music, great convo and laughs will suit me just fine.
After all, shucks, “I’m damn near 30!”
Oh, as for the loud nail polish colors, did it twice this summer for a pool party and the beach. My norm is “Samone Sand” by OPI, very natural and conservative.
Loud hair colors: hate to see “grown” women with “plum” colored hair!
LOL…I agree at the Teeny Bopper stores like Dots. If I go in there it’s to get a cute piece of jewelry, a tank top or a wallet, not a whole wardrobe. I’ve been wanting a tattoo lately but I’m thinking ummmm no I’m too hold to get one now, should have gotten it when I was in my 20’s.
I’m too old to care what people (other than my mama and husband) think about me. With that said, I wore every bright colored polish I could find this summer! I don’t work in a severe corporate environment so I say what the heck, why not!
I’m too old for shirts with all kind of writing and phrases and crap on them. I’m too old for sneakers other than workout shoes. I’m too old for hairdos that require me to sleep with my neck in a crane… and I’m only 28 *wink*
Good post! Weed, never did. Nails, sport loud nail colors regularly and I work in a VERY corporate environment (just my way of expressing me in this box). Teenybopper stores… Never really did them, I was a chunky kid, so my mother stressed quality and it kinda stuck the older I got. So, The Limited, Banana Republic, J.Crew, ect. Have always been my cup of tea, LONG b4 I could really afford them. Tatoos… Kinda always like them… I just always made sure they expressed me and I wldn’t be embarassed about them when I got older (yep, even the 1 I got @ 18). I kinda view them as self expressive art. Again, I guess it depends on ur profession (but here in the corporate world, there’s a sh*t load of ppl with them… Me included).. Back 2 the Teenybopper thing… This cld just be me, but seeing as I work in what is viewed as a ‘conservative’ environment, I find it extremely hard 2 keep my mouth shut when I see a 30+ woman in a Forever21 suit from head to toe. I mean… Dude, EVERY1 except u knws that ur 2 old for that! It’s not the appropriate length and it looks cheap!!!